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Questions for Parents to Ask Kids

Asking Good Questions

The busyness of life can lead us to living re-actively to what happens in the moment. It is often a challenge to step back and consider what is most important to us and how we can purposefully pursue those things. Parents desire to shape our children’s hearts and we often do this through our relationship with them. Yet growing in relationship with our children can be pushed aside as we seek to complete our “to do” list. The hope for the questions below is to encourage you to slow down and engage in meaningful dialogue with your child or children. The questions are meant to get you started thinking about asking good questions. Be creative and adjust the questions to best fit you and your child. Consider identifying one question you would like to ask your child. As you practice asking questions, your questions will get better and you will be able to better craft questions for your specific child. Look at this as an opportunity to see and better understand your child; to learn about them and how they see the world. There will be opportunity to teach but for now try to focus on listening and learning more than teaching. You may hear disturbing answers or get questions you do not know how to answer. Stay calm and step toward growing your relationship through asking meaningful questions. As you gain insight into your child’s heart you will then be better able to target your teaching as you seek to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. These questions may provoke a 6 second interaction or a 60-minute discussion. Either way, see it as an opportunity to see into your child’s heart so you can grow in relationship with them and direct them toward truth.

Categories to Consider for Asking Your Child Good Questions:

  • Questions about themselves. (Desires, hopes, fears, concerns)
  • Questions about relationships. (Family, Peers)
  • Questions about spirituality. (God, Bible, Church, Spiritual Disciplines)
  • Questions about current events.

Themselves:

  1. What are some of the things you care most about?
  2. What is coming up that you are excited about?
  3. What is coming up that you are nervous about?
  4. What is something you would like to do in the next month?
  5. What are you learning?
  6. What three words best describe you?
  7. What are you good at?
  8. What is something you would like to get better at?
  9. What are some of the things that tend to upset you?
  10. What do you hope your life looks like in 5 years?
  11. What are you fearful of?
  12. What would you like our family to do more/less of?
  13. What would you like to tell me but are nervous to tell me?

Relationships:

  1. What do you think is important to me?
  2. What does mom/dad care most about?
  3. Who are your 2 closest friends? What draws you to them?
  4. What is one thing you would like me to do differently?
  5. What do you do when someone is mean to you?
  6. What do you do when someone is kind to you?
  7. What does mom/dad do when she/he is angry?
  8. What is mom/dad afraid of?
  9. How can I support you?
  10. Who do you feel closest to?
  11. Why are relationships important?

Spiritual:

  1. What do you think about God?
  2. What is Church like for you? What do you like/not like about Church?
  3. What is the purpose of going to Church?
  4. What Spiritual Disciplines (i.e. Bible Reading, Prayer, Worship …) are easiest and most difficult for you?
  5. What is the purpose of engaging Spiritual Disciplines?
  6. What doubts or questions do you have about Christianity?
  7. What do your friends think about Jesus?
  8. Who is Jesus?
  9. How would you define ……? (Examples might be: justification, sanctification, grace, or sin)
  10. What did you learn in Sunday School?

Current Events:

  1. What has been difficult/enjoyable for you about COVID-19?
  2. What do you think about _______________.
  3. What have teachers, peers been saying about _________________.