“…lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Ps. 61:2 (KJV)
Each generation of women is unique and faces its own set of challenges. Each of us can look at past generations and wonder how they managed life as they did. Today’s women face mounting pressures as to-do lists and expectations grow while technology and culture push into almost every facet of our life. While there may not be a way to slow the demands placed on women, there are tools that help equip us to steward these demands in our own lives. One primary tool is the concept of grounding. When used intentionally, grounding can help us slow down, anchor ourselves, and decide how and where we want to participate. Grounding is essential to keep us from continually getting pulled by the current of schedules, life and demands.
The Weight of Demands
It is important to recognize the demands we are carrying and decide which ones are truly necessary. A good question to ask oneself is who is placing the demands on my time. We can incorrectly assume all or most demands come from others, but often, the greater pressure may come from ourselves. Taking an inventory of these demands is a good place to start for grounding.
Likewise, we should be cautious on seeing what others are doing and feeling prompted with pressures such as, “Wow. I need to be doing all of those things too.” Take a scroll through social media and it does not take long for our minds to think of areas where we do not measure up or need to do better. We are shaped by what we take in as messaging about our homes, parenting, bodies, and careers are on repeat. We can begin to see things as important simply because we see them repeatedly. A busy pace of life also tends to give us less mental space to notice everything we are collecting along the way. Grounding ourselves means slowing down enough to recognize the demands we have placed on ourselves while giving ourselves permission to choose which ones are worth carrying. Questions to ask oneself regarding demands include:
- “Does this actually matter to me?
- “Should I have said yes or was this something I could have said no to?”
- “How do I know social media messaging is affecting my intake?”
Dropping Anchor: Choosing What Matters Most
Grounding requires discernment. It does not mean we stop or avoid the things in life which we need to engage. Rather, grounding gives us the opportunity to discern what is happening around us and how we need to adjust. Think of grounding as what happens when you drop an anchor while boating. You are still on the boat in the middle of the lake. You feel the waves. You are still moving around to some degree; however, there is a certain level of security that you are not going to drift too far from where you want to be. Similarly, the grounding principle of discernment blesses women by allowing mental space to decide priorities and the direction we want to intentionally move toward. Without dropping an anchor, believers can often be carried by the most pressing demands.
The age-old Sunday School object lesson of a jar and various size rocks and pebbles helps demonstrate the importance of prioritization. The lesson illustrates that if small, unimportant pebbles go in first, there may not be room for the bigger, foundational rocks. Women ultimately need to reflect on choosing and prioritizing the “big rocks” or key values over the smaller, less important “pebbles” to ground ourselves using biblical discernment. Consider these self-reflection questions:
- What are the big rocks in my life?
- How often do I drop anchor to consider what matters most?
- Did I intentionally choose this priority, or did I simply absorb it?
- Would this still matter to me if no one else were doing it?
The Scary Truth: Facing Reality
Grounding requires us to face reality. All of us are given the same amount of time—24 hours in a day. For many, that breaks down to approximately 8 hours of sleep and 8 hours of work, leaving 8 hours to meet other demands. It is easy to live in an idealized version of life rather than the reality in front of us.
Facing reality is not always comfortable. We may have to admit our schedule is too full, something we want is not realistic for our family or current commitments, that we are living outside our means, or that we simply cannot do everything we wish we could do. Distractions may serve as an avoidance or escape. Grounding asks us to do the opposite by purposefully noticing what we are afraid of, hurt by, disappointed about, or trying to avoid and then move towards the reality in front of us.
This grounding principle requires us to distinguish between what we feel is true vs. what is actually true. Emotions are valuable and important but may not be accurate reflections of reality. An uncomfortable interaction with someone can quickly feel like, “She is disappointed in me,” or “She doesn’t like me.” The discomfort may be real, but the story we have attached to it may not be. Rather than allowing our emotions to carry us downstream, we should pause long enough to separate what we feel from what we actually know. Consider these types of questions:
- How am I spending my time? What would a breakdown of my 24 hours look like?
- What things do I often try to avoid? What does an ideal day look like for me?
- “What actually happened in this situation? What evidence do I have? What am I assuming?”
Disciplines to Form Us
Finally, spiritual disciplines are important anchors because they bring us back to truth when the demands around us become loud. Reading scripture reminds us of who God is, who we are, the truth of his promises, and what he calls us to carry. Prayer gives us a place to bring our fears, frustrations, desires, and decisions before the Lord instead of trying to sort through them alone. Silence gives us space to notice what is happening in our hearts rather than immediately drowning it with more noise. Our lives can contain almost constant input. We listen to podcasts while driving, music while working, videos while exercising, and social media whenever there is an empty moment. Much of that input may be good, but constant intake leaves very little room for processing. Sometimes grounding means shutting off the podcast, taking out the AirPods, putting down the phone, and allowing ourselves to be quiet. Confession is a call to honesty and helps us put words to what I am thinking, how I am acting, and what I am seeking after. Consider these thoughts:
- What spiritual discipline(s) do I tend to favor? Which one(s) have I neglected?
- How comfortable am I with silence?
- When is the last time I had honest confession with a good mentor or friend?
These practices are not meant to become one more demand on an already full life, rather they are intended to help us develop the rhythm of slowing down, connecting with truth, and becoming more grounded in Christ.
The Main Goal: Grounded in Christ
Ultimately, grounding is about more than managing our schedules well. It is about recognizing rhythms of life continually shape who we are becoming. Grounding gives us space to consider whether that shaping is moving us toward the person we desire to become through discernment, remembering God’s promises, facing reality, and upholding our core values. Grounding serves to anchor ourselves in truth while helping us grow closer to the image and likeness of Christ.
