The Hardest Part of Working in Mental Health

One of the things certainly I’ve learned and experienced in the work is that, that I’m not going to be able to help everybody and not everybody’s going to like me. And, and those, those, I would say are pretty like deep challenges for me to be able to, to accept that and to come to terms with God has maybe gifted me and equipped me and I can’t help everyone.

And, not everyone is going to like me, and, and maybe that means somebody else down the hall from me can be helpful, or maybe somebody else in another town can be, and again, coming to terms with that in a sense that says, no, God still has equipped you, and you have gifts and talents. And yeah, you maybe did mess up here and you should have done something to you.

How do you learn from that rather than just kind of collapse under it? Um, Those, those are probably at, you know, if I think of like deeper things that are really challenging, those would, would be some things that, that, uh, create a lot of wrestling. But I, I think by God’s grace, a lot of refining as well.

Along the journey, there’s been a lot of things that I’ve had to wrestle with in this work. I mean, Straight out of, of my master’s program in 2007, I worked at Lutheran social services and in that setting, I’d work a lot with, um, you know, foster kids that were in the foster system or the parents who had their, their Children removed from their home or.

the foster parents that were now caring for them. And so, that setting, you know, just opened my eyes to so much suffering and brokenness and pain that, that was just so foreign to me. So, that is a, a big hurdle. But even too, in that work there, one of the things that was really challenging for me was thinking through, what is actually helpful to people?

Because in that setting, The primary goal was symptom reduction or kind of training in some of the basics, which there’s certainly benefit, but I found it really hard to feel like. I’m, I’m giving some skills or some, some tools or support that maybe helps reduce symptoms, but isn’t able to reach the real core of an individual’s problem, whereas from a Christian perspective we would say is the gospel, when, when that wasn’t able to be part of that, that was, that was a huge, uh, struggle.

One of the things I don’t enjoy about my job is, is the paperwork that, that comes with it. And, and I would just say though, I recognize that it’s necessary and that is important and part of the reason it’s important is that so after meeting with someone to capture What’s been talked about or kind of a quick summary is helpful.

Part of my first hour of my day where I’m preparing for the meetings, a lot of that is going back and reading what we, what we visited about last time. It kind of jogs my memory. Oh, this is where we were at. Here’s some of the things that maybe I’d asked to think about or work on. And then that’s an important piece of the counseling is checking back in on that and, and the work that goes on in between.

Because really at the end of the day. The, the hour meeting that we might have, whether that’s once a week or once a month is going to have minimal impact if there’s not, you know, additional work going on in between. So that, that’s a very important part of the work for sure. So the worst part about the job is, is the paperwork, the case notes, the, the, you know, capturing, uh, correspondence, all those sorts of things.

Um, I would say also. The reality that at times you work with people or couples that they are fighting tooth and nail, that they’re engaging the process and it just seems like there’s not change. Things aren’t happening. And so you have an individual or a couple that They are, they’re engaged, they’re following through on homework, they’re engaging the process, and for whatever reason, things aren’t shifting.

That’s hard. Um, I would say the other thing that’s hard is, at times, the reality is, couples or individuals leave early. And sometimes you have no idea what happens. I mean, Do things turn out okay? Do they not? I think within ACCFS, sometimes you get a sense just because we’re connected nationally, but not always.

Um, and so that’s another hard part of the job is the reality that you may meet people, get to know people, and then they leave, one day they’re gone, and you saw opportunity for great work to happen, and you don’t hear back. And, and so it’s kind of open ended, if you will, is a hard piece. I can remember the first couple that I worked with that went on to divorce.

I wanted to quit. I just absolutely, I just, I didn’t go into the field for this to happen. And, and I, I was talking to one of my supervisors and it was so helpful. Because I, I, like I said, I was ready to throw my hands up and, and he said, he said, Oh, Ted, did you not show up to sessions? And I said, well, of course I showed up to sessions.

And he said, well, didn’t you listen to them and talk to them and give them homework and tools? And I said, well, of course I did. And he said, he kept asking me these questions, kind of leading me on. And I’m like, well, of course I did. Of course I did. And then, and he said, and did they do their homework? I said, well, you know, not really.

And did they come to sessions? No, very haphazardly. And did they involve themselves in a community of faith that, that could help support them? Oh no. You know, and, and he said, he said, remember that, that, that you are. You’re a vessel, um, but you’re not the solution. You know, you’re a vessel, but you’re not the solution.

And I, I, I’ve, I’ve had to really remind myself of that. Because, um, as much as I want all situations to end up happy, they don’t. And, uh, that, that’s hard. But I think the other thing is, is that, that, that many do. Um, and that, that makes it worthwhile. Sometimes the hardest part can just be… When, when individuals that you are walking alongside, it just seems like they just continue to have really, um, really difficult life experiences, or maybe they’re walking through a time where they’re involved with some other systems, and things aren’t working well, and, um, and, and that part there when, when sometimes it just feels like, It, it feels like there doesn’t seem like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

There always is, but sometimes in those moments that, um, just as a counselor, those can be really difficult. You feel with your clients in those moments.