Living Abundantly: A Growth Mindset Webinar

Living abundantly and having a growth mindset here. Kathy, I’d love to get into this conversation because it’s super hopeful, right? Yes. And as we think of abundance, we think of growth. We think of life, we think of progress. And as we engage with others in a mentoring type of relationship, this is what we want. 

So, let’s embed this in Christ’s words there in John 10:10. We know it really well. It’s just so powerful. I come that they might have life and that they might have it more abundantly. Just a great statement and sentiment from Christ himself and seems to be something very foundational. 

I mean, he’s saying this is what he’s come for and to think that Christ is about our abundance and about our living and our life is quite a welcome thought. I’m not sure we always have that. I don’t know Kathy, if you agree, but yes, I agree. And I think this whole concept of abundance certainly is like the mindset of abundance. 

It is definitely not just survival mode. And I think sometimes in different seasons of life or different situations we can definitely just feel like we’re in survival mode. But then to have this idea and to pair it with this verse of the reality of having an abundant mindset. 

The thing I love about this verse, Matt, is in the earlier part of this verse, it talks about the thief who comes to rob and steal. Which is the opposite of abundance there. And so, knowing that the reality of life is that there can be hard things, but Jesus comes so that we can have and seek after this abundance. 

So, it’s a good place just to start our conversation. Well, let’s even maybe start with abundance and what that is and maybe what it’s not. I know as we talked about this in the past sometimes maybe we’re not thinking well about abundance or maybe not thinking accurately or realistically. 

How would you massage that particular word into good, healthy meaning? Yeah, so my perspective would be that abundance is defined differently for everyone, and I think that’s probably a good thing because what feels like abundance to one person may not to another person. 

But I think what I would say is abundance is defined differently, but I would say it’s a little bit more of a mindset than actually a feeling or actual evidence of it.  And, for example, we look at the life of Apostle Paul. I think he would say he’s living an abundant life. Yes. And it might not hit the metrics of abundance from a shipwreck. And he goabundant.h this list and I’m like, oh, is that what he means by abundant? But that’s not what we’re saying abundance is. But we’re saying abundance can exist in some really unlikely places and conditions. 

Yes. Paul is an example, and need we go any further than Jesus? Yes, absolutely. The word I like to think about as how to describe it, is just like filled or even hopeful or I think sometimes those words adjacent to abundance as a better way of thinking about it. Because even in those times with Paul, he was still filled and, from what I understand, had a mindset of hopefulness, which that’s how we can have abundance even in hard times. 

Perspective. Yes. A posture that he had with God and with Christ irrespective of his circumstances. Yes. And then circumstances wonderfully support abundance though, don’t they? As we think of abundance, we’re coming into Thanksgiving season, and it will probably be met with feasting in circumstances that are going to be an example of abundance. 

And so, it’s not lost on circumstances, but it has to have its proper place. Yes. I think one way to think about it in the way of Jesus is, abundance is a life of resurrection. Jesus is the life. And he embodies life because he embodies this resurrection. I think this is a helpful way to think of it too. And in order to have a resurrection, you have to have a death. So, it has to be dark before a resurrection. There is a death before life in the sense of seed in the ground. Right. And that’s what he says. So maybe this paints even a little bit more of what we might be meaning by an abundant life of resurrection. Yes. Yeah. That idea of resurrection is new life and just that idea that God can take whatever is broken or hard or difficult and bring abundance from it or bring new life that leads to abundance from it. 

I also think, Matt, you don’t get into too many conversations with me without bringing up gardening. But when I thought about this slide, and I was thinking about abundance and resurrection I actually thought about tulip bulbs. So, they’re like the first sign of hope in the spring for me. Yeah. And it’s this idea of being a part of hopeful abundance to come. We have new life here, but tulips have to go through a time of dormancy and dying off in order to spring forth with beauty or abundance. And so that’s why you can really think about this idea of resurrection and new life coming from abundance, coming from new life, especially after a hard season. 

I like that. And you know what I think of, I think of garlic sets. Oh, yes. Which is the same thing. Garlic needs really cold weather stress in order to push forward an abundance. That stress can form in our own lives the mindset of what? The mindset behind abundance. Without any stress or without anything difficult, we may not have a helpful mindset. We might have more scarcity or what else can I seek after? But after we’ve been through some hard things, the abundant mindset of what is actually enough or what is actually abundant is what comes out of that. 

That’s good. And so, as we set up this conversation here this is not just a Pollyanna take on abundance that says, hey, just look on the bright side of things. Yeah. It actually is a redemptive abundance whereby those difficult things give rise to abundance, but this focus on abundance can be neglected. 

Am I right about that? We can get so focused on the hard and the difficult and the addiction or the struggle or the anxiety that we just orbit that and circle that and try to fix that. We don’t think about abundance, and we want to bring that perspective and help maybe shift our gaze, which is a terrific way, an entire avenue or category for mentors to work with mentees and to think about this abundance space. Yes. Yeah. And I think within that, you have to be really careful not to rush the mindset shift for people, because then it does feel that you talked about just thinking more positive or just think about what actually is going okay. 

And then it will be fine. An individual has to work within themselves to get this mindset shift of it. One thing I might just mention here, Matt, one of the comments that came in beforehand said something about a victim mindset versus this abundance mindset. 

And I think that ties into what you were just saying. It’s the abundance that somebody can enjoy and be able to actually label abundance. They have to be able to acknowledge what was hard in the past or what didn’t go well. And it’s not that you forget about that because we can’t forget about it, but I would say what this slide says about the understanding that new life can come and God can give the increase in that. And so that’s, again, it’s just that shift away from always focusing on what didn’t go well and what the possibility is and how God is working today. That’s just again, how I fill out this abundance thought process. 

Yeah. And another point made when people registered was around negative thinking. Yes. I don’t know if you noticed that as well. Yeah. And I wonder if that’s part of a posture that we have too, that when we are mentoring somebody. It seems like it probably has something negative we’re dealing with. Yes. And that negative thing really takes up a ton of real estate in our interaction and our thinking and our follow-up and our accountability. And so, I want you to speak about this next concept of thinking about two different categories of care. 

We have crisis care. That concerns the matter of crisis. And then we have living care, which deals with the matter of living. Anyway, there are some subpoints there, but yeah, in what ways is this helpful to think about these two things and where do we see abundance and where do we see negativity.  

Yeah. So, I think these two things, it’s really important just to linger and think about them. So I think the reality is, is we all, like you have not lived on earth too long to realize that like hard things come and, or crisis, like however you want to define that out. So we all have had or know people that have had. 

Hard things. Sometimes that’s trauma, sometimes that’s loss. Sometimes that’s just unfortunate situations and they need to be attended to, like, if you do not attend to the crisis, it becomes maybe like an infection that we’ve let go and it just takes over and good things do not lead to it, so we have to be able to attend to the crisis. 

But I would say what is even more important than that is from a mentoring perspective, if you’re helping somebody walk through a crisis, there needs to be an equal part conversation of how you’re attending to the living care how you are helping them develop or encouraging and pushing them to develop healthy rhythms in all the different areas so that when the crisis is over, they have this basic level of living care or healthy things to be able to return to. 

I was thinking about some of the New Testament examples of this in the gospels when we read about Jesus. He did both of these in his ministry, right? There were crises, healing sickness, calming the storm, and hard things that he attended to, but the whole time living into helping people understand how to live well. 

So, I think that that is a good example of doing both at the same time. I think it is worth mentioning here too that as a professional counselor, you are going to get called to crisis care. There would be a little more urgency. Yes. Certainly the individuals that you would be engaging with might have more need for crisis care because they’re seeking out your professional help. 

And for those of us who are lay mentors this actually can be helpful. I have found this to be helpful when I talk to a person and I say, this is how I can be helpful and this is how I might not be helpful. And I lay out the crisis care and I lay out the living care, and I will tell them, my skills only go so far with the crisis care. 

And there would be a couple of things that I would listen for. If it’s trauma, for example or if it’s sexual abuse then we would pretty quickly know that we need a professional to handle that. But I can always provide living care. 

Yes. So, the second category is a little bit in our wheelhouse as lay mentors, as lay counselors, and that type of thing. And so, I would like to think of this webinar as a shot in the arm for us to do this. Yes. Not that we ignore the crisis care. We attend to it at the level that we can. Yes. But yeah, Matt and I would agree, and I would say when I have an individual that I’m walking through a crisis with, it is always helpful to know that they have someone also walking alongside of them to challenge them in this area. Right. Because it then allows our counseling time to be used effectively. You know, usually when there’s a crisis happening, just being in the presence of counseling doesn’t solve that. But what we’re doing is we’re working within the emotional health system and learning skills and processing and thinking of ways to create safety, that sort of thing. Yeah. And so, when it’s reinforced with somebody else of all the different aspects of life, it’s just very helpful. 

It’s caring about the person. Well, I also just have to say this. I don’t think you have to feel like you have to be an expert in living care. Just doing life challenging each other is all a mentor needs to be doing. Well, and I’ll say this at the outset too, Kathy, we’re going to be sharing resources that we’re excited about here at the end of this webinar. Hopefully you’ll find them helpful with those you work with. 

I’ve used them with individuals. In fact, I plan to use it here this week with somebody that I’m going to be meeting with. That’s been really helpful. But you know what it has done, it challenged me to live well. And I don’t mean that in some sort of conviction as much as like, wow, I should really be good at living well. I’m a believer. I’m a John 10 converted person. I mean, Christians should be pacesetters and living the good life. You know what I’m saying? Yes. Like in abundance. Yes. And can I communicate that to somebody who doesn’t know how? Maybe let that be the setup of what’s going to follow here. 

I would say too, one quick thing is if we go back to this mindset of abundance, the presence of crisis does not mean that an individual is not living in abundance. Yes. It’s a hard time, but then again, living well helps us maintain that perspective of abundance even in difficulty. I think that is a skillset, Kathy, that we need to have. Okay, I know they’re coming to you because something is really out of whack in their life and they’re struggling with it. Be a bit of a hound dog and find where the abundance is at in their lives because it’s there someplace. 

Yes. Finding those coals and blowing on them is just an entire mindset, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in the crisis care, we don’t even think that the abundance could possibly be there, and we’re wrong about that. Yes. So, here’s where living care tends to the matters of living well. 

Four different categories here that we’re going to step through today. And we’re going to try to provide some color to these. But a lot of these are going to connect with you already, and I would love it if those who are listening, just as their thoughts are stirred like, oh, I could add to that, or I could do that. 

Or you know, this is an open field, right? But at the top there, help people live with God in real and beautiful ways. If we can do that, that’s success, right? Or if we can help people grow in their understanding of themselves that’s just really good work to do. Down on the bottom there, help people avoid isolation and live in relationships. 

And then on the left there help people build healthy rhythms into their lives. Yes. Doing these things help people get on the road towards abundance. I might just say this quick, Matt, I think that this can feel overwhelming if it’s like, I know where this individual is, how do I get all of this accomplished? Or how do we speak into all of this? And I think really you just start in one area and it’s whichever area you can get a foot in the door with them. They might be completely closed off to or already doing okay in some areas. And so, if you can get a foot in the door in one of these different aspects of living, you can start to slowly pick away at it. 

And then I think the others just can naturally springboard off of that. Well, I think that it sets up a little bit of our paradigm here with this particular teaching too, that you’re absolutely right. There are going to be lots of ideas thrown at our listeners. And it’s not intended to direct you to do all of this. This is intended actually to shock and awe your own brainstorm. Like, oh, this is all over the place. Now we’ve got something and the resource that we’re going to share at the end is going to be a tool to help you do what Kathy just said, investigate a little bit and help your mentee surface where good places to focus might be. 

Yeah. All right. Well, let’s go. We’re going to take one at a time. Just color it a little bit, provide some definitions, some contour here. So, let’s start with this first one about help people make living with God more real and beautiful. And again, I’m going to just acknowledge, alright, you might be thinking, oh man, I need to do that. 

Yes, we all do. And you all live with God in real and beautiful ways on a scale that can be improved. But you’ve come someplace and you’ve come a long way. And so, any of these points. I’m not going to read these points actually, but people can read them. Kathy, I’d be glad if you just take any one of these points and speak about it and help elevate it. 

Okay. Yeah. And again, we had mentioned earlier, if there’s a chat or a question, you can throw that in as well. We want this to be meaningful for our viewers. So, if we just go back to this word really quick about abundance. I’m telling you what my thought is on what abundance would look like in this area. 

And again, I know I said everybody has to define for themselves. So, this isn’t the answer, but I would wonder if abundance is just being able to be in a place where we can feel the presence of God in our lives as we’re going about. So, the goal of working within this area is to have that closer and feel more real. 

And that would be abundant living. That would be my thought. So, can I add to that? Yeah, absolutely. And so, here’s another way to view helping people. We’re helping people live with God, and that will give rise to helping people live for God. 

I have noticed that a lot of people understand that they’re supposed to live for God. And they work very hard to live for God. And it actually is part of the stress in their life because they’re trying to do it. But we have the cart a little bit before the horse. If we’re not living with God, I’m not sure God’s too interested in our living for him. 

Yes. This kind of puts it back in the box a little bit, this focus here, which is really enjoyable work with an individual because when they get it, they’re like, oh, I like this. This is not homework. Yes. Well, and then it helps target and break apart some of the shame that people can have in this area of like, I should be doing so much more, or I’m not good enough in this area. 

If I look at these questions, I think we could have an hour conversation about each of them, but sometimes where I start with people is asking them that first question, do you love getting into God’s Word? Or the last two, how does it go to just sit in silence with God and how is your prayer life? How is communication with God going? The mindset shift of I don’t want people to feel like this is something that they have to do on their to-do list and check it off and keep going. But sometimes people do need it to be that. Sometimes we do need it to be a little bit of a to-do item so that we get into the practice of it until it feels more part of our rhythm so that we can live with God and then for God. I like that example. So maybe a question here is helping ask questions around what gets in the way of this? What are the barriers? Sometimes it’s as simple as, I don’t understand the version of the Bible I’m reading, or I just don’t know how to sit down and make time for it. 

I forgot. Or sometimes it goes into some other deeper things which might be a poor God image and so sitting in silence with God feels scary. And so, you have to be able to ask good questions to decide where the barriers are so that you can help them move in this direction rather than avoiding it. I like that. I love problem solving. You’re really example there, Kathy, as you ask the question, you try to get inside and understand their world and say, okay, how can we help you love to get into God’s word, for example, and a nice follow up. 

You’re not reading the Bible, but you should be. Right. You’re not doing it. You’re just pretty bored with it, to be honest. It’s not exciting. Yeah. Try to get under the hood and say, okay, are there parts that you like or are there genres that you like? 

Or maybe let’s try a different way to do it, or let’s couple it with something that you love. Maybe you love to get out in the woods. Okay. We’re going to couple that with listening to the Bible, the Psalms, while you go check your trail cams or something. I don’t know, but all of a sudden, hey, do you like to do that? Is that life giving? Hey, we’re going to pair this up perhaps with this activity here and you’re going to connect with God while you do that. Right. All of a sudden, they’re seeing, oh, okay, living with God is looking much more realistic. Yes.  

And that’s probably the piece there, Matt, is you have to know what works for you, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to work for the next person. So, being able to understand what you want this to look like or what you are working towards and how I can come alongside of you. Yeah, I like that. Should we move along? We’ll go to the next one. Sure. Yes. And if anything is jogged in you listeners and you want to ask a question, you certainly can. 

We can go back. But let’s look at this next one again. The idea here is just to see what it looks like to till the soil of abundant living with people and help people grow in their understanding of themselves. Kathy, I really want you to speak to this one. It really smells clinical, but really important. So yeah, why is this important and how do you think about it? Okay. So again, to start off with, how does this lead towards abundance? The word that came to my mind is the abundance mindset and the healthy living can come when we have clarity here and better understand this. 

So, often I know people who get to where I’m at and in conversations with me and have really developed some sort of system internally that has really blocked them from here. Like we all know what our thoughts are, but blocks are the narratives in our head and the way we’re thinking and this interesting relationship with emotions. 

So, if we can better understand what our minds are paying attention to? What am I experiencing in my body, feelings wise, that sort of thing. It just clarifies why we do the things that we do. And so, I would say that this is an important one to settle on in the mindset of abundance and then to go on to feel like you’re living in that. 

Yeah. Matt, there are so many in here that I feel like I could talk about all of them, but I would say the first four here, is there an understanding of how our body influences our thoughts? Do we know how to get to a place of rest? Are we aware of the relationships with thoughts, feelings, and behavior? 

And then, do we understand why we think the way we do? So, I would say as a mentor, being able to just ask questions similar to this or even ask questions like, how aware are you of the internal narratives that drive you? So again, specifically if we’re talking about this whole philosophy of the mindset of abundance, you have to decide if their thought process is more like scarcity or victim. I don’t know if that’s quite the right word, but we all know what that means. 

Or are there just some really unhelpful thinking styles that don’t align? So, then you would pick up on that scarcity mindset or the victim mindset and say, okay, that is a script. Those are some thoughts that are going to make a difference. Yes. How you feel and how you behave. Yes. And then I think just being able to have curiosity with the person of where did that come from or is there a different way to think about that? Some of those are just having open-ended questions to start understanding the internal dialogue. The way we think is the way we view situations, and then it’s the way we respond to situations. 

So, if we’re trying to understand ourselves, I would say it’s very important to understand past experiences, but then also the internal narrative. The other piece we talk about is in the third bullet point with feelings. I think if we’re trying to understand ourselves, a big thing is why do I react the way that I do? And so, that is more in the place of feelings and emotions. So, I think sometimes just reminding people that from a feelings perspective, we don’t actually go from zero to 60, even though it feels like we do.  

We aren’t calm, cool and collected and then angry. But there’s this building up and understanding triggers, which that’s on here too. But understanding triggers and the things that start to get us a little bit more dysregulated. So, you understand the place that emotions have and just how much they really tell me who I am. 

I might be feeling this way, but that doesn’t mean I am this type of person. Right? Yes. To embed that emotional experience in something larger with my thoughts and my behavior. Yes. I think what you’re doing is you’re really teasing out the different parts of us, and I think what it means to help a person understand themselves is for them to see, oh, right now, I have these emotions. Yeah. And right now, I’m thinking these ways and they’re able to see how their gears are turning at the moment. And I know the things I said are somewhat clinical, but I think just remembering to poke around at what is this person thinking, what are they feeling? 

I will just say the last one on here, do they know their strengths and opportunities to use them? I think that’s where mentors come in handy. It’s not just about telling them you’re all these things, but it’s in helping them and doing experiences with them that their strengths can shine and be there to support them or give them opportunities to use things that access the things that they can grow into or whatever that looks like. 

But I think that one feels very active. Do this with them so that they can experience it. Yeah, I really like that. Well, let’s move on to the next one again. There are a lot of points up here. I think a lot of them are somewhat self-explanatory. What we’re trying to do is illustrate the category so that we can see it for ourselves. 

And this is a limited list. It could be expanded quite a lot. Well, let’s look now at this helping people build healthy rhythms into their lives. So again, the points are in front of us. We’re not going to read through them. Kathy, grab one or two or speak to this topic as a general category. 

Yeah. So, I like the term. Just to think about it, a lot of people know and understand music a little bit and there’s a tempo. And I think this really just speaks to understanding what the tempo of our life is and is that a healthy, steady tempo? Again, abundance in this area just feels like there is somewhat steadiness and predictability in life, which then helps develop a steady rhythm or tempo of things. The thing that I think about is that so many of us just assume that the right pace is flying around doing everything that we think we should be or can be doing, but really a healthy pace is actually not that. 

So, like that first question, does somebody actually know how to slow down, rest and reflect? Like that’s actually really essential. We see that all the time. Jesus went away and got some rest. We need to be doing that. Yes, that’s a big one for me. Sometimes we learn about people that there’s a reason they’re moving around fast all the time. 

And so, helping them move away from that to be able to slow down and pay attention to what’s going on is important. So, I view healthy rhythms as including rest and time to revive and that sort of thing. Yeah. And then the other ones on here are a lot about habits. If you can get into the habit of doing any of these, it helps you get into a healthy rhythm. And so, can somebody develop a specific and realistic plan? I think this is where we can have really good challenging conversations. I just know we as people are like, I want to start running, and I don’t actually say that usually, but a lot of people are like, I want to start running and I’m going to do a marathon by the end of the year. 

Okay, maybe three years out, what does it look like? Just getting a pair of good shoes to run in is actually a first step here to develop healthy rhythms. I really like that. I think there is an element here too that the mentor can help with, and that is dreaming with a person. Yeah, that’s good. You know, that second to last bullet, can they identify healthy habits that they would like to establish? Sometimes we just don’t even know, we’re not even thoughtful. We don’t have the creativity to know what types of habits, right, maybe a habit of a few moments of silence every day, for example. 

I was talking to an individual and trying to help and he had an interest in cooking. Okay, hey, let’s go in this direction. Because that’s only going to be healthy for you mentally to pursue that and do well in that. And you’re going to find that crisis care situation is going to take up less bandwidth. Because you are now building a rhythm of cooking a good meal for yourself, which you like to eat, and you’ve got a gift to cook. Hey, let’s do that really well. Yeah. Now that takes up brain space to plan a meal and go to the store. Now that’s taking up real estate in your day, and it is just living well, right? I think God is delighted to see the individual make a great meal for himself. So, enjoy it. Thank God for it.  

Yeah, Matt, I agree with that, and you said it, but we can’t stop hard things or crisis or busy or stressful things from happening. But if we can do the things that we know are healthy even during a stressful time like that, like cooking, even though there’s a lot going on in your life. It’s just a healthy rhythm and habit. Sometimes people have the mindset of like, I’m just not good at anything. I don’t have the energy to do any of this. 

And so, this is where just coming alongside and doing it with them is helpful. Sometimes within regulating feelings, we talk a lot about the benefit of co-regulating emotions with someone. And so, I even think that sometimes we just have to develop healthy rhythms with the presence of somebody else in order to make it our own eventually. 

And to be clear, what you mean by co-regulation is that person is able to regulate their emotions because you are regulating them. Yes, they borrow your regulation. Yes, definitely. Yes. And so, sometimes it can be as big as music or a new hobby or even like the cooking piece or getting more exercise. We can do this together. Come over to my house, we’ll go for a walk. We’ll get into the habit of it together. Sometimes people just need that extra support to go on to build healthy rhythms. Yeah. And I love that you saw the third to last bullet there talks about finding new loves, which is really another fun field to plow because people don’t love that or can’t see it. 

I might not enjoy that certain thing. I don’t enjoy the outdoors. I just don’t enjoy it. Right. And there’s room for that. We have preferences. Would you like to? Let’s imagine your life. You like it? Oh, well, yeah. Okay. Now there is a path to learning to enjoy a thing, and part of the bane of our immediate world is that we get hooked on things that are too easy to like. 

Mountain Dew. You just like it with one sip. You don’t have to even work it up. You don’t have to perfect it, you know? And typically, those things that we don’t have to work at to like are probably not really good for us, but those things that we do acquire pleasure with take time. 

And that can be a fun field to plow in terms of brainstorming and thinking about coming up with ideas and then setting in and trying to start some of those. Yes.  And sometimes people say, I just don’t like that because they’ve actually never done it. Or they have had a bad experience doing it in the past. 

So again, to your point of what if it was enjoyable. Let’s just give it a try. Two or three times. I see people who have mentors who push them to just experience new things, and it is very helpful for them. Just last night I asked one of my own kids if there would be an instrument they would like to play. 

Let’s just dream. Any instrument in the world, you know what I mean? Trying to get into that conversation of dreaming about being really good at that. Right? Because it starts there. And we can help as mentors. We can set the conversation up. We can help facilitate. Yes. Let’s go to the next one. 

And the last one we’re going to address here is to help people avoid isolation and live in relationships. Is that really important. Kathy? Yes, definitely. I would just say that we are people who have to have people and there is just no other way to look at it. Some people need lots of people and some people only need one or two. All of that is based on personality. But I think a lot of times if we’ve had a lot of hard relationships in the past, then we develop the isolation piece and it’s just easier for us to say, well, I just don’t need people because people bring pain. 

But people also bring lots of other necessary things. So yeah, relationships are really important. I would say, again, just the idea of trying to tie it in with abundance. I think that we can. When we can work in a relationship and make it work, we get to feel fulfilled in that. There’s fulfillment in it. And so, I think that leads to feelings of abundance.  

I’ve got an example of a young man who was wanting to serve God in big places and big ways but was getting doors shut on him and was walking through the heart of that. Right. And just to help him shift and say, how about you participate at your VBS at your church in this capacity? And it went really well. That’s what he did and started to contribute to his community in a meaningful way. So as mentors, we can somewhat shape and steer some of those things and help provide some avenues for individuals to get into community.  

Yeah, I agree with you. And specifically, when we’re trying to target this isolation piece, I think that’s important. And I think how you ask follow-up questions is important. So, if somebody finally says, okay, I’ll go to whatever event to get my mentor off my back because I’m sick of hearing about it or whatever. Right. But this idea of asking them how it went is not always helpful because it maybe didn’t go well at all, but that doesn’t mean that it was a bad thing that they were there. And so sometimes just asking some sort of open-ended questions like, what is something that you feel went well or what surprised you there? Or you can even ask what was hard while you were there?  

The idea of that is so often somebody that is in a place of isolation or just feeling better or safer just not being with people. Going out and doing things doesn’t bring immediate joy or doesn’t bring immediate feelings of abundance and we know we have to be able to do it long enough to experience the hard in order to make it work. So, I just feel like a big conversation I have with people is how much joy you feel at the end of something doesn’t actually mean if it was a positive or negative experience. Showing up was what was important and so you’re going to really help them evaluate that experience. 

Okay. They went out, they were a part of the community, the gathering, and that type of thing, and again it wasn’t great, but by having that conversation you can help them evaluate that it was okay, but it wasn’t great. Yes, probably identify some things that you should be celebrating, and they should be celebrating and then that helps them go the next time.  

Yes. Well, and if you look at the way some of these questions are, do they have community that they can reach out to? And so, that idea of is there support out there? That’s something that as their mentor you’re providing for them, but also you should be trying to link them with other people who they can receive support from. 

But I would say second to that is do they feel valued in their community. So, even asking questions like, is there a way that you were able to contribute because relationships are two ways. It’s not what I receive from people, but how am I giving and abundance can be found there. 

This can be difficult work helping a person who’s just not people oriented. Being good at relationships is really hard. Yes. And to help them be friends and help them with some hard conversations as well about how we present ourself and how we come off and how you talk and how you listen and how you interact. 

Some of those things are what people need. Yeah. Well, here’s where I’m going to go. We’ve got about 12 minutes to the top of the hour and we’re not going to stay on any longer than what we need to, but we do want to share this resource with you. You’ve got the QR code there if you want to snap a picture. 

It is on our website. It could probably be searched pretty easily on our website with living well. We’re also going to have this recording on our website. You’ll be able to find it and find this there as well. All that to say this is a resource that we hope could be helpful for you and what you have there in the image is simply a survey that you can use with an individual. It has each of the four categories. You can see them listed there, the four categories and some subpoints below it. But it actually has a few more categories that we didn’t talk about here today. 

And it could be just used as a way to get some sort of sense of what the needs are of the individual who you’re working with. Or where there might be some really good ground to plow in these categories. So, you can see the directions. Mark the top two items in each of the six categories which you would like to grow in. 

Change the directions to wherever you want them to be. But this again, is intended to be a bit of a brainstorm and help with that. Yes. Kathy, anything you want to share about that. No, I would say it’s just a great conversation starter. And what I like about this resource is realistic things can be worked towards. As an individual, you don’t have to go to great lengths and learn a whole new language or anything like that to be able to achieve some of these. You just have to be purposeful, intentional, and growing in them.  

Yeah. If there are any questions, anybody is free to unmute themself and ask a question. Anybody is free to put in a chat if you want to ask a question that way. And if there are none then we’ll bring this to a close. But while you might be formulating that, let me just mention this as well. As you use this resource, you will probably have your own ideas jogged and add your own points beneath any of these categories or add some more categories. 

Living abundantly is really good work and it’s really fun work that people want in their lives once they get past that they just want the crisis to stop. And if you can help them turn to say, hey, how about we think about this over here as well. It’s really welcome. So, hopefully this document can help with that. Thank you each one for being on. God bless you each one. Yes, thank you.