Upsetting Lies: Believing the Truth Podcast Episode

Really, Matt, what we’re laying out here is a reparative type of approach, a hopeful, reparative approach to the wounding that will happen in our lives. Welcome each one to Breaking Bread, the podcast brought to you by Apostolic Christian Counseling and Family Services. Great to have you along. Today in the studio is Arlan Miller. 

Arlan, I want to set today’s topic up with a well noted quote from Christ. Sure. Where he says, the truth shall set you free. Powerful quote. And I think it really plays on some huge purposes of Scripture. As with all Scripture, there’s more there than meets the eye. But maybe I could quote the inverse of that statement and then I’d like your response. 

But the inverse of that statement would be lies bring you to bondage. Right. And we have also in Scripture that Satan is the father of lies and he’s the great deceiver, right? So, we see something very large at play here with Christ being about truth, I am the way, the truth, and the life, Satan being about deceit and lies. 

And this impacts us very, very deeply. Yeah. Exactly right, Matt. And I think often we can take that and think about that truth at an external level. You know, lies are bad, truth is good, that kind of a thing. But I think what’s been really helpful, for me at least, is to think about that on an internal level. 

Where am I believing lies? Who’s the author of those lies? And where are those lies impacting me in very real and personal ways? And how do I then bring them to bear with truth, right? How do I bring truth into them? Exactly right. Sometimes when we think about lies and truth, we’re thinking about large, like, the Bible is true, and God is right, and all of these large things I think I line up with truth. But there are some lies that can take root, as you say, very personally in our hearts and our thinking that have very detrimental effects in our life. They can blend into the background and become so normal that unless we have a concerted effort to bring them into the light of truth, we won’t even recognize them or realize them. 

Give us an example of a lie that a person could have, just as you say, kind of deep seated in them that might go without their notice. Right. Let’s say you walk through life, and you come across something that you don’t quite succeed the way you want to, or something doesn’t work out the way you want to. 

And instantly, the first thing that goes through your head is I’m a failure. I’m worthless. And that is a belief statement that a person adopts. And that is going to be binding, that narrative is.  Let’s set that aside for right now, because actually, as you talked about that, you prefaced it with you’re going through life and some things don’t work out. 

There is an impetus for that lie that occurred, isn’t there? They come from something, right? There are occurrences in life, there are things that happen to us, that we bring interpretation to. We try to process through that and try to make sense of what happens in life. So maybe we’ll call that a wound? 

Could be. Okay. So, a wound gives rise to lies. Okay. I’m interested in this wound thing, because I think sometimes when we think of wounds, we think of big, heavy wounds, which certainly there are. I’m thinking of abuse, for example, which is a wound that a person is pretty cognizant of, that’s a part of their story. 

But the way that you even caged this first example, it’s not abuse. It’s a bit more minor. We would think. Most definitely Matt, it could be minor. It can be the fact that we struggled in school, you know, growing up and we were made aware of that, whether by parents or whatnot, and maybe not in as pleasant of ways as we could have been. 

Could have been a bad moment with a teacher, for example. Could have been, right? And the language that was shared or what was shared to you, it can be captured, and it can be internalized, and it can just feed that story or feed that feeling of not good enough or insufficient or failure. And so really just as fleshly wounds vary in size from seemingly insignificant to very treacherous, so are the wounds in our lives, but all wounds are impactful. 

Thank you for listening. They are. And I think what we’re learning here, we can even say as a basic presupposition, is that wounds will give rise to lies, won’t they? They will. And those lies are going to be binding in some sense in our life. That’s really what we want to talk about is how to handle those lies. 

I want to go now to the other side of this, Arlan. What is the effect of believing a lie? The one that you’ve mentioned or any other lie. Yeah. So, the effect of believing a lie and the more that you believe it and the more you build patterns of behavior around it, that will lead towards reactions that will lead towards behavior and that will lead towards almost reflexes to a certain way. 

So, to the point where, to go back to an example, as soon as something does not go right, instantly your default is, see, I’m a failure, see, I failed again, see, I’m not good enough, or I’m not worth love or care or, or anything. I mean, it can be very damaging and then we react to that false reality in our life, and that can give birth to all kinds of things. 

Right, kick the dog, or it can give birth to bursts of anger. And taking it out on the dog. Or, to the worst extent, it can give birth to vices of all kinds. We can take it out on ourselves, and we can abuse our bodies. We can take it out on others, physically, and we can abuse them in emotional or verbal or physical ways, all kinds of things can give birth from these lies, if we’re not careful. 

Let’s follow another one just for more example to get this. Here’s another lie, God doesn’t love me. Okay. God doesn’t love me as a lie has some tragic outcomes to that. In fact, a great deal of addictions might come by way of that lie that I am unwanted by God. And so, we find soothing for these lies that have come by way of wounds in lots of unhealthy ways. 

Yeah. So, we see a lot of things at stake here. Yeah, they really are. Think about some behaviors or attitudes or thought processes that are not desirable, and then back them up a little bit in our lives and think what I am thinking or believing that causes me to react this way. Okay, so you’re really calling us to introspection here, and if I follow you, I think as you mentioned that vice part is a little bit more in our face. 

Yeah, that’s the action that we see. I am aware. That I go to this vice or have that vice, and often those are the big fires in our life that if we had one wish, that wish would be to change that vice, to be without it. But you’re really calling us to some deeper work here that says, well, that vice might just very well be a symptom. 

Yeah. You’ve heard us say before, thoughts lead to feelings, feelings lead to actions, right? And so, really one way that we’re looking at this is we’re taking those actions and we’re working backwards. Into the thought space. Right. Yeah. What feelings are leading to that? And furthermore, what thoughts are leading to those feelings? 

And let’s think about, is that thought based upon truth, the truth of Scripture, or is it based upon a lie that over time, the stories we tell ourselves have caused us to believe and is perpetuating this. Yeah. But before we race to a solution, which we’re going to get there, I want to do a little bit more work here. 

So, as you talk about thoughts to feelings to action, let’s just again, try it on for size for some of these lies that we’ve mentioned. God doesn’t love me. The first starts as a thought, right? But very quickly goes into a feeling of rejection, depression, despondency. 

Yep. And then that leads to a behavior. Right? Or as you mentioned, I’m a failure. I’m no good. Same thing. This is a believed thought then that generates feelings that are going to lead to actions. Right. That’s the way of all thoughts. Yeah, it definitely can be. If I want to change my actions, my default can be to just try to white knuckle it and just try to just make it happen, but it’s healthier for me to go backwards and to get back to what thoughts are causing me to feel, which then are causing me to act. 

Now, I think one thing we could take away from this conversation is, all right, so one way to reverse this whole trend would avoid being wounded. For example, which clearly don’t wound people. That’d be wonderful if we could figure out that way. That goes without saying that when we wound people, this has some ill effects. 

But we’re not necessarily saying that that’s the answer. Right. In fact, I don’t think it’s a goal that we can even necessarily achieve for. I think because it’s unrealistic. Yeah. I think it’s Christ that said offences will come, right? Yeah. But woe to those that cause the offenses. Yeah. But the offences will come. 

I think it’s realistic to say that at some point in our life, we will have wounds. And I think that’s important, Arlan. I think that’s an important level set that just simply says, we’re not products of our wounds. We are going to be wounded. There is a way to process the lies that come out of that world, right? 

Right. I think that’s an important level set. And in fact, it’s very hopeful in itself to say that we look around and we say, you know, we are all wounded creatures in some way, shape or form, but there is solution and there is hope in the midst of that wounding. So, you really might say today’s conversation is about how to recover from wounds, from this broken world that we live in. 

Yeah, really, Matt, what we’re laying out here is a reparative type of approach, a hopeful reparative approach to the wounding that will happen in our lives, to the reality of the world that we live in. How do we pick up and go on from there? I really like that phrase, reparative medicine, because we know the catchphrase preventative medicine, right? 

Which is so important, so huge. Yes, prevent wounds. Please hear that here today. But there is a reparative medicine, which has potential. It’s got a ton to do with Jesus, doesn’t it? It does. Isn’t Jesus reparative medicine? Yes, he is. And even think about that lie right there that you just laid out there. 

The lie that Satan loves to play with that says, therefore, you know, when something bad happens, see, God must not love you. Yeah. Right. Whereas that’s not the hope of the gospel. That’s not what the Scripture teaches us. The Scripture teaches us that bad things will happen, but in the midst of those bad things, I offer hope. 

I, Jesus, offer hope and restoration. Amen. Yeah. I love that. Let’s now go to that remedy part. Okay. So, I think we’ve kind of set up the conversation. We have these wounds, which we may or may not even know. We may not be able to find that that was where I was wounded. Okay. They occur. But from those, a lie can be planted in that. 

Yeah. And then that lie becomes a hold of our thoughts, feelings, and then it turns into actions, which are unwanted. So, as we try to reparative medicine here, what should we focus on? What should we think about here? Ideally, we could do some of the deep work there of figuring out these wounds, but the reality is that often that’s going to stay probably further under the surface than wherever I get to, but what is going to manifest itself is the lie itself. 

I think healthy practice is to start thinking through what lies exist in our life. Really, you kind of took a fork in the road. I think that was a bit of a surprise, and that is that it doesn’t require the deep work of wound work, right? Which maybe we’ll leave to the therapist, to the professional, because great work is being done in that. 

But there’s a great deal of lift done at the lie level, and that might be more obvious to us. What’s a great way to even start to do? This work in the area of lies. Sure. You know, there’s a document that we have on our website that just lists out a whole bunch of lies, 30 or 40 lies, just listed out, you know, things like nobody loves me, or I’m not gifted, or I’m not good enough. 

I have been forgotten. Yeah. And healthy exercise is just to walk through that sheet, take it, print it, look at it, and just I think it can be a real eye-opening activity to start to identify some of these lies in our lives. Because that’s really where we want to go. It really is. We have to pull them out into the light. 

And there’s really no lack in these days and age with the internet and so on to find lists of lies that people believe. The particular list we have, we got from Whatever It Takes Ministries. It’s an excellent one. And I’ve used this personally myself, and I’ve used it with others and just ask them, go through and make check marks. 

It’s amazing. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anybody not check any of them. Right. What I have seen again, in my own life and in lives of others, I’ve started to see light bulbs start to go off and say, well, of course, that’s why when this happens, I do that. Or that’s why when this discouragement hits, I immediately jump towards that soothing mechanism or something that’s just not helpful and just not pointing me closer towards truth but further feeding that lie further feeding that direction.  

Let’s take a lie statement. I am worthless. That’s a lie that people can ascribe to, right? So, I think the first step is all right. There it is. There might be nuances to that that are worth considering, but there it is. Certainly, the next step would be to rewrite that lie, correct it. A truth statement that would say, I am of great worth, right? Right. So, take that lie and take it up against the truth of Scripture, right? Know the Scripture, study the Scripture, and just be able to rewrite with that truth, right? 

We know that we are not worthless. Right? We know that we are of great value in God’s eyes. We know we are of so much value that he sent his Son to die for us. You know, and there’s a number of verses you could pick out to just help correct that lie with truth. So that when the temptation comes, instantly that truth of Scripture will speak into that and, you know, there’s something that was triggered when you repeated it over and over. 

I think we have to come to terms with the fact that the lies we’ve come to believe have been repeated lies, and for many of us, for years, and for some of us, for decades. Yeah, identify the lie, switch it to the truth, might not be all that needs to be done. But a repetitive, a remembrance of the truth. Does that make sense? 

Absolutely. We’re trying to reroute a train with a great deal of momentum going in another direction. Yeah, that rut could be really deep that’s in somebody’s mind, that we instantly jump to this learned behavior, and this learned lie. I think we can approach this kind of work, because it is work, we can approach it though almost like we would approach a light switch on the wall, right? 

And can I not just flip the switch and instantly change? And the reality is, if something’s been ingrained for 10, 20 years it’s going to take some repetition, some discipline, some repeated behavior to relearn our thinking. Arlan, I’d like to share a story with you.  

I went to call on an older sister in church. She was living there in her assisted living. I knocked on the door and she’s 90 some years old. I just heard her call out, come on in, and so I walked in, and this is about, I don’t know, nine o’clock in the morning, nine-thirty. She is reading from a well-worn piece of yellow paper. It’s so well worn, Arlan, that where she grips it, it hangs over on top. 

Does that make sense? As she works down the piece of paper, it just limply falls behind her. Okay. Sure. She had her eyeglasses down and she was just reading this and when I came up, she folded it up and it’s a normal folding pattern, you know, it almost falls into its folding pattern, like a map and puts it in her Bible. 

And I said, Sister Eileen, I am so intrigued by what you were just reading there. Would you mind sharing that with me? And she was embarrassed. You could tell that she was visibly embarrassed by the question, but she pulled it out and she read it to me. Arlan, it was one truth statement after another. And it was gospel truth as well about her daughtership to God, her sistership to Christ, the spirit armor. It was like point after point after point. You could tell this was a daily ritual for her, but in this space here, I think, an example of a 90-year-old woman dealing with the wounds of life. It came from the daily work of truth. Right. I was so inspired by that.  

I love that example. I love the example in so many ways, but that daily discipline of working through the truth of Scripture. Yeah. And I think where the reaction can be, at least in my life, if I’m honest with myself, is the reaction can be, is I should be stronger than that. I shouldn’t have to do that. I should just know it. Or God’s grace should just make it instantly happen. Or how weak of a person is it that we have to recite the truth over every day? Yeah. But the reality is, that’s what God calls us to do. In fact, that’s what I think it says in Peter, right? That we are to bring these things into remembrance, not just one time, but often, but that can then help us grow in the knowledge and the grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

It’s a powerful example to really consider. You know, it really is. It almost redeems wounds in a way, as we’ve mentioned. We’re not getting through this life without them. But what we find is that in the reparative medicine we find Christ. We find the Word of God. We have a few resources on our website, which would be good resources for those types of true statements. 

Where would those be or what are they? Sure. Yeah. There are a couple of resources that will again be highlighted. God’s Promises to the Believer is a well-used resource on our website that just lays out a series of promises from God’s Word that can be recited or encouraged every day in our lives or in the lives of others to help point them towards a truth. Another one is Negative Thinking versus God’s Promises. Similar type document where you have a negative thought or a negative lie that often we tell ourselves and then right beside it on the other side of the page, you have a series of promises from the word that refute that, that really speak to it. 

And on our website, there’s a search menu. You could type in the titles just as you’ve mentioned them there and they should pull up. They should. Yep. The point to make here, Matt, is just how do you find the counterfeit? How do you find the lie? Often you find that by knowing the truth, by knowing the truth and knowing the truth so well that as soon as something smacks into your conscience that this is not quite right. 

There’s really a call, I think, to all of us as we’re a community. As we are a church brotherhood, as we are brothers and sisters to one another, there’s really a call that we would speak truth to one another as well. I think that’s an important point. I think sometimes we go to the Word of God and we’re like, why? 

And God’s got to say that. But as soon as it comes through the lips of our brother and sister or our spouse, all of a sudden, oh, is that really true? And so, I think there’s a call here that we do this to each other. I think absolutely. And that we are open to it being done in our spheres of influence. 

Yeah. I had a small group of brothers there in our local home church that I shared this document with, and we all made our own selections of lies and we shared them with each other. And Arlan, it was remarkable how similar they really were. They weren’t exactly the same check marks, but they all kind of come back to the same thing. 

And we all had this aha moment, that’s like we all have similar lies that we believe. And by knowing that of each other, such a powerful moment. Now I know, you know how to encourage, Arlan. Yeah. Because I know the lie that he’s susceptible to believing. That’s going to be the core of encouragement to you. 

Right. And what I love about that example is, again, you see the power of community. We can become so easily self-deceived or just easily blinded to these lies in our lives that the power of community is why God calls us into community. It can help bring truth to those areas and bring in the sense of common experience, but then also bring accountability, pushing us to not stay there, but lean into the truth and dispel the lie. Yeah. I think that’s incredibly exciting. I think Christ is the truth and the life. Right. For sure. And that truth is going to set us free, but he does employ us to be his mouthpiece in times and his arms to reverse the lies that are crippling so many. 

I’m encouraged by that. Thanks, each one for being with us here today. We trust and pray that today’s topic speaks to you, motivates you, encourages you to live the life that’s in step with the truth of God’s word. Thanks for being here.