Inabilities: When Things are Out of Reach Podcast
We don’t like it when things are out of reach. Especially when they are good things. But sometimes they just are. In this episode of Breaking Bread, Brian Sutter helps us understand what health looks like amid the disappointment of our inabilities.
Definition: Limitations are those things that we cannot do or achieve regardless of effort or resources.
- Potential examples: IQ, Physical limitations, Mental limitations, Human developmental stage, Economics
Reality: Limitations are often sources of pain in a person’s life. We don’t like to be told “no” you can’t do that.
Healthy Mental Processing: Limitations are losses to be grieved.
- Acknowledge the limitation.
- Grieve the limitation.
- Listen for the lie limitation has posited in your thinking. (ex. You are stupid.)
- Correct the lie with truth.
- Accept the limitation.
Healthy Mindset: Do not identify yourself according to your limitation. Rather, understand your limitation to be part of your unique story and an aspect beloved by God the Father. Pivot your thinking away from limitations and on to opportunities.
Healthy Action: A lot of good is instore for you even with your limitation. Invest in those areas you can contribute and improve in.
Definition: Weaknesses are those things that we struggle to do well, but with effort and resources, can improve.
- Potential examples: Improving a skill, Learning a trade, Growing positive character qualities
Reality: The ceiling of our abilities is most likely untried. We can make meaningful gains in many areas of our life.
Healthy Mental Processing: We need to discern the difference between limitations in our lives and weaknesses.
Healthy Mindset: God has given us the responsibility to steward our abilities. Continuing to grow and learn is part of the human flourishing He calls us into.
Healthy Action: Growth is a function of effort over time. Engage the growth process.
The Challenge of Unmet Expectations
Unmet expectations occur and can cause us to spin into confusion, invalidation, despondency, bitterness and doubt. Unmet expectations are a type of ambiguous loss, a pain brought on by absence. While we cannot escape having expectations, we can cradle them in a larger understanding. This understanding will give context to our expectations and a lens through which we can process meeting them.