Enriching Christian Marital Sexuality

Christian marriage is a living testimony of God’s Oneness, and this includes the sexual relationship. This can be a great blessing when couples learn and grow together. It also can lead to distress, pain and hurt when issues arise. This webpage is here to provide you with information and resources to strengthen your sexual relationship and marriage. This pages covers three main area:

1. The importance of knowing your sexual anatomy and reproductive system
2. Common sexual problems and recommendations to support healing
3. Recommended sexual resources including books and websites.

Sexual Anatomy & Reproductive System

Healthy marital sexuality involves knowing your own body and your spouse’s body. Growth in your sexual relationship as a couple can happen by learning both the parts of the male genitals as well as female genitals along with their purposes. Below you will find links – one for the female body and one for the male body. These diagrams can be used by a couple for an open conversation about your body parts, their purposes, and areas you find helpful or unhelpful to touch during foreplay.     

Female Anatomy: Organs and Reproductive System Diagrams
This webpage contains general information about female anatomy including diagrams. 

Male Reproductive System: Structure, Organs, & Function
This webpage contains general information about the male reproductive system along with a diagram. 

Common Male & Female Sexual Problems

Sex in marriage can be a wonderful blessing that deepens a couple’s connection. When couples struggle in their sexual relationship, it can be difficult, painful, and even lead to shame as they consider seeking help. We want to acknowledge that talking about such a private area can be very uncomfortable. We also want to provide encouragement that there are many good resources and professionals with experience in this area that can be helpful in supporting you on a path of healing.

Holistic Approach

We recommend that you take a holistic approach in addressing any sexual problem in your marriage.  This may begin with a visit to your healthcare provider. It is important to rule out any physical issues that may be causing complications. Additionally, the overall emotional and spiritual health of your relationship needs to be taken into consideration as these impact your sexual relationship.

Note: A few common sexual problems in marriage are outlined below along with resources we have found to be helpful in addressing such challenges. As with any resource, we encourage the reader to be discerning concerning any doctrinal concerns. Recommendation of a resource is not meant to imply endorsement of the author, book, podcast, or ministry.

Overcoming Sexual Pain

• What to Do When Sex is Painful – Java with Juli podcast episode. In this podcast, Dr. Juli Slattery talks with Jess Setiz, a trauma-informed pelvic health practitioner, about ways to move toward pain-free sex. 
• Pain-Free Intimacy – This website contains a plethora of information helpful in the recovery of vaginismus. Jess also offers a free consultation along with a vaginismus program. 

Dealing with Lack of Sexual Desire

• Sexual Desire and Frequency (Ch. 18, A Celebration of Sex) – This chapter provides a good overview of sexual desire, what it is, and factors that impact it.
• Overcoming Problems of Sexual Desire (Ch. 15, Restoring the Pleasure). This chapter discusses examples of female and male sexual desire issues along with helpful steps to overcome.

Managing Erectile Dysfunction

• Common Male Malfunctions (Ch. 21, A Celebration of Sex) – This chapter covers blocked sexual desire, delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation and impotence, and suggested treatment for each.
• Overcoming Problems of Sexual Arousal (Ch. 16, Restoring the Pleasure) – This chapter contains a section on erectile dysfunction and various exercises to consider.

Overcoming Difficulty with Orgasm

• Women Becoming More Easily Orgasmic ( Ch. 17, A Celebration of Sex) – This chapter does a nice job of covering a common issue among women that is educational and instructional with steps to try.

Overcoming Premature Ejaculation

• Common Male Malfunctions (Ch. 21, A Celebration of Sex) – This chapter covers blocked sexual desire, delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation and impotence, and suggested treatment for each.
• Overcoming Problems of Sexual Release (Ch. 17, Restoring the Pleasure) – This chapter contains a section on premature ejaculation, what it is, and ways to gain better control.

Reclaiming Sexuality after Sexual Abuse

• Survivors of Sexual Abuse (Ch. 24, A Celebration of Sex). This chapter is written for both the survivor and spouse with education on what it is, the impact, and considerations in reclaiming sexuality.
• The journey of healing for sexual abuse survivors can be challenging and complex. Individual and Marriage Therapy are recommended.
• Trauma and PTSD – ACCFS – this link will provide you with additional resources related to trauma and sexual abuse.

Recommended Sexuality Resources

Books

A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy   
Author: Douglas E. Rosenau
A guide to marital intimacy for Christian couples, learn how to deepen sexual pleasure and enjoy God’s gift of sexual intimacy with your spouse. This book presents married couples with detailed techniques and skills to deepen their sexual pleasure and improve their marriages.

God, Sex, and Your Marriage   
Author: Juli Slattery
This book provides a biblical vision for sex and marriage and why God created it in the first place. Dr. Slattery shares 4 pillars necessary for healing brokenness in sexuality and moving sex from an activity to intimacy. 

 

Intended for Pleasure   
Authors: Ed & Gaye Wheat
This book is helpful for engaged and married couples who need information about developing Godly, healthy sexual intimacy. It is written from a Christian perspective and is tastefully done.

 

Secrets of Sex & Marriage   
Authors: Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma
This book identifies eight simple yet important factors to help understand your spouse and see to move from disconnection to delight. The content is based on research and clinical experience from a Christian sex therapist.

 

Websites

Authentic Intimacy [Authentic Intimacy]
Provides information on healthy sexual intimacy and sexual challenges.

God’s Design for Sex [Focus on the Family]
This series of articles provides a healthy and biblical view of sexuality for marriage and challenges many conflicting messages we hear from our culture today.

Podcasts & Teaching

Know Your Body: Hormones & Mental Health Podcast Episode [ACCFS]
In this podcast episode, a professional in women’s hormonal care and a clinical therapist talk about the intersection of our bodies with our emotional, relational and spiritual lives.

Marriage: Reflecting God’s oneness Part 3 [ACCFS]
The intimacy between a husband and a wife holds immense promise, for it springs from immense holiness – The Holy Trinity. Christian marriage is a living testimony of God’s Oneness. In this podcast episode, Kaleb Beyer helps us understand sex as God designed it.

Enhancing Emotional and Physical Intimacy in Marriage [ACCFS]: Handout   Audio
God’s design for marital sexuality includes both emotional connection and physical responsiveness. However, busy lives, stress, and skewed messages from the world can get in the way of experiencing the full blessing he desires for us in this area. This counselor’s presentation focused on four practical ways couples can deepen their emotional intimacy while enhancing sexual fulfillment.

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