Marriage Resources

Books (by topic)

Affection and Love Languages

The Five Love Languages   
Authors: Gary Chapman
This book is very helpful in teaching couples how to best communicate and express love to each other. The author describes five primary “love languages” and shows how people tend to both give and receive love in different ways. This book is easily readable and is quite practical.

 

Cherish: The One Word That Changes Everything for Your Marriage    
Authors: Gary Thomas
This book teaches couples how to enrich their relationship through emotional intimacy. The author includes personal stories, real words examples, and scripture to emphasize his points.  

 

Communication and Conflict Resolution

A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage  
Authors: Scott M. Stanley, Daniel Trathen, Savanna McCain, B. Milton Bryan
This book teaches communication and conflict resolution skills. It helps couples identify types of destructive conflict and teaches how to use the “speaker-listener technique” to deal with areas of misunderstanding. This book can be helpful to teach skills to young couples just starting their relationships and for married couples who are having marital conflict.

How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage    
Authors: Milan Yerkovich, Kay Yerkovich
This book teaches communication and conflict resolution skills. It helps couples identify their “intimacy imprints” that shape behavior, beliefs, and expectations in marriage. The book shares four types of injured imprints that combine in marriage to create a negative cycle of pain. This book can be helpful to teach practical skills and principles to married couples that find themselves struggling to manage conflict in a healthy way. 

Created for Connection   
Authors: Kenneth Sanderfer, Sue Johnson
Created for Connection guides couples through seven conversations that help restore a sense of emotional safety in their relationship. Additionally, the book provides opportunity for more vulnerable conversations for the purpose of deepen emotional connection. The book provides couple examples as well as teaching based on Scripture and research.

The DNA of Relationships    
Authors: Gary Smalley
This book teaches communication and conflict resolution skills. It helps couples identify a destructive relationship dance that characterizes most relationship conflicts. The author offers five practical steps that will lead to healthy interactions. This book can be helpful to teach practical skills and principles to married couples that find themselves struggling to manage conflict in a healthy way. 

 

Gender Differences

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men  
Authors: Shaunti Feldhahn
This book deals with what women need to know about the inner lives of men. The author did a survey of hundreds of men to obtain the information for this book. The results, given by topic, can be helpful to any woman who wants to understand her husband better. Informative and practical.

For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women   
Authors: Jeff & Shaunti Feldhahn
This book deals with what men need to know about the inner lives of women. The author did a survey of hundreds of women to obtain the information for this book. The results, given by topic, can be helpful to any man who wants to understand his wife better. Informative and practical.

 

General Marital Preparation

Before We Marry: A Journal for Christian Couples:
250 Questions for Couples to Grow Together in Faith   
Authors: Suzanne Shaw
This journal is designed for engaged and young couples to learn more about each other and develop emotional intimacy through a variety of questions. The book has five broad categories of questions: family and friends; faith and values; you and me; past, present and future; and the world around us. 

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts    
Authors: Les & Leslie Parrott
This book teaches couples how to enrich their relationship through emotional intimacy. The author includes personal stories, real words examples, and scripture to emphasize his points.  

 

Finances

Money and Marriage God’s Way    
Authors: Howard Dayton
This book offers practical, biblical principles applied to common financial problems encountered in marriage whether couples are engaged, newly married, or empty nesters. It addresses several subjects very relevant to walking as a Christian in today’s world. 

 

 

Sexuality

God, Sex, and Your Marriage  
Authors: Juli Slattery
This book provides a biblical vision for sex and marriage and why God created it in the first place. Dr. Slattery shares 4 pillars necessary for healing brokenness in sexuality and moving sex from an activity to intimacy. 

 

Intended for Pleasure   
Authors: Ed & Gaye Wheat
This book is helpful for engaged and married couples who need information about developing Godly, healthy sexual intimacy. It is written from a Christian perspective and is tastefully done.

 

Secrets of Sex & Marriage   
Authors: Shaunti Feldhahn & Dr. Michael Sytsma
This book identifies eight simple yet important factors to help understand your spouse and see to move from disconnection to delight. The content is based on research and clinical experience from a Christian sex therapist.

 

Prayer Journal

Like A Tree Planted by the Water: A Prayer Journal for My Marriage
Authors: Christian PREP Inc
This is a 12-week prayer journal for married couples. Every week begins with a few conceptual seeds related to marriage that are rooted in scripture and can branch out into multiple areas of their life. This provides couples the opportunity to journal and pray together on specific “seeds” taken from scripture. Some of the areas covered include agape love, forgiveness, commitment, thankfulness, and unity.

General Marriage Enrichment

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference   
Authors: Shaunti Feldhahn
This 256-page book reveals how being intentional about small, practical helps within your marriage can lead to a vibrant relationship. This book is recommended for those seeking to enrich their relationship.

 

Sacred Marriage    
Authors: Gary Thomas
This book shows how your marriage can help you deepen your relationship with God. It includes discussion questions for couples and small groups.

 

 

Personality Inventories

Keirsey Temperament Sorter-II (KTS-II)  
This personality test is easy to take, score, and interpret. Understanding personality factors helps couples understand their tendencies and preferences for communication and decision making and how they will tend to interact. This instrument is very similar to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) that is available through ACCFS (shown below). The KTS-II identifies several key personality traits such as extraversion, introversion, thinking (logical/analytical), feeling, organized, creative, practical, open ended, etc. The basic form of this inventory can be taken online for free at: www.keirsey.com. Very helpful, personalized interpretive reports can be purchased online for a fee

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) Step II Form Q
This personality test delivers personalized information on communication, decision-making, dealing change and conflict.  The instrument assesses five facets in each of the four personality dichotomies which helps explain the uniqueness of individuals in detail and serves to identify the differences experienced between two persons of a given type.  This inventory is taken online and is available through ACCFS. 

Marriage Insights by John Trent, Ministry Insights International
This inventory is taken online. It takes approximately 10 minutes per person to complete. A 24-page report on individual and relationship strengths is generated. The report provides information about each person’s strengths, keys to effectively communicating with each person, overcoming conflict, and facilitating problem solving. 

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