What is the Marriage Journey? Webinar

So, Kaleb, the topic today is the marriage journey and it’s maybe a topic or a term of our own creation to some extent. But there is some history there. At ACCFS we have had premarital resources for a long time, nearly since the beginning of our history here 25 years ago. And the last couple of years have seen purposeful revision. 

We’ve been working to revise and rethink those resources. And as we’ve gotten into that we’ve realized, what’s the vision for? How does someone go from a state of singleness into marriage? Are there stages or are there things to think about? 

So, when we talk about a marriage journey, it’s the background of where we’re coming from. And so, we’re going to just have a conversation and walk through some of them. But before we even go there why is this even important? Right? Kaleb, why should we be so focused on healthy marriages within the church. What are some of the things that we see with that idea? Yep. So well, I think as we talk, even in our spiritual walk, we have this ongoing formation and we would say sanctification process that we’re growing, we’re maturing, we’re deepening our relationship with Christ and with each other within the body. 

And certainly, we’re concerned with the health of those relationships. I’m amazed, in Galatians, Paul talks about fulfilling the law by, how would you fill in the blank? I would fill it in by loving God, but he fills it in by loving your neighbor as yourself, which the premise of being able to do that is to love God. 

And so, as I think about this triangle on the screen, there is a level of healthy self of individuals affects the health of a relationship. And the health of a relationship, meaning the way that a couple interacts together through forgiveness, working through conflict, being able to have a shared purpose or shared vision together affects the health of the church body. It models, even as we think about Ephesians 5, the relationship with Christ and the church. 

That’s ultimately what marriage is called to do. And then obviously the health of the church even affects the mission. So, I think it is formative as we think about a large community of our local body, it’s made up of parts. Paul talks about that. And I think the health of our end of it, our bodies are affected by the health of the members. 

And so, it makes sense that it both matters individually, the parts, the pieces, but also as a whole. Yeah. So obviously, if you’re in a marriage relationship, you want that marriage to be as healthy as possible because it’s one thing to finance a growth opportunity within your own life, but then it does have an impact on those around us. And it’s a little bit of a foundational building block and that’s the point of the chart that you see on the screen there, self-healthy, marriage healthy, church healthy mission. We can jump to the top and think oh, we want to have a healthy mission. 

Sometimes we have to kind of back up and realize that comes from somewhere. Right, that comes from healthy marriages in this context and healthy individual singles living out their relationships with God in a healthy way so that it can then be a healthy church, a healthy mission, so on and so forth. So, it’s a foundational type of concept, just to wrap our minds around. 

And so, as we wrestled into that, one of the things I think emerged to us is this, you can kind of look at it as a no point in time type thing. You’re married or you’re not married, right? And at some point, you go from not married to married and it’s like, things just happen, right? 

Somebody does. Yes. Somebody asks, and then everything just takes care of itself after that. And the reality is it’s a little bit more than that. It’s good to broaden that out just a little bit. I think it is. And I think there’s a piece even as we think about the church community, that is very distinctive that’s seen and shared among the community. We hear oh we have an announcement, a couple we’re excited for and thankful. 

Yeah, you may see them every once in a while, but then it’s like this wedding day that we share in together. So, from a public standpoint it can appear like oh, it’s just a wedding and all of a sudden there’s this transition. When the reality is there’s a lot of pieces that need to happen in this process ongoing moving into the wedding day and beyond the wedding day. 

Well, and if it’s viewed as a sanctification opportunity for us as believers, then again, there’s a lot of work that’s taking place when you come into that intimate relationship that can be marriage. And even I would say, as you go into the idea of, do I get married or what does that look like? And am I in a position to get married? Am I ready for those things? There’s a lot of growth. It’s a discipleship aspect of the church at so many different levels. I think yeah, and so you see three phases here You know considering marriage engagement early years There’s others that aren’t probably on the screen that will feather out later over time because marriage doesn’t stop in the early years, it goes on and there are adjustments and transitions and issues as you go into later years of marriage. 

But the point here, I think, is to help us view holistically what this marriage journey is, or what could that look like in our lives? And, you know, on the side there, it’s about setting the right vision, setting the right expectations, and setting the right foundation. Because if you get some of those off, we end up going towards the wrong place or approaching it the wrong way, or not maybe leaning upon the wisdom and experience and perspective of others throughout the years. Yeah. What have you noticed, Kaleb? You work with couples, young couples sometimes, obviously couples of all ages, but what do you notice with couples as they approach marriage or in those early stages, what are some of the things that have led you to say, these are topics we need to talk about, or these are things we need to get into with people. 

Yeah, well, certainly when you see in certain situations when issues show up post marriage and we reflect on, okay, are there things that we could have addressed, or at least considered as building blocks prior to marriage that would at least help us address conflict, for example, which is inevitable. 

Yeah, but in the engagement stage, we are leaning into beginning to have some of these conversations that are important, but maybe difficult and uncomfortable to set the stage to having some of those conversations. You have a hard conversation with someone who’s very intimately tied to you.  

Yes. And what are the expectations for marriage? You know, we’ll talk more about this, but most of us who are engaged haven’t been married before. This is not always true. Sometimes there are certain situations and dynamics where that’s not true, but predominantly most of the individuals stepping into this have not walked that path before, and so what unrealistic expectations are we bringing into the relationship that we can start at least bumping up against and being curious about, that doesn’t put so much pressure on the marriage relationship to do something it wasn’t intended to do in the first place.  

Yeah. And so, I think what I’m hearing is get some of the discussion earlier, get some of the conversations earlier. Don’t just expect that you flip the switch, and you go from single to married, and there are foundational principles that could and maybe should be put in place. 

Yeah, and that’s what I like about this thought Arlan, of a marriage journey is to say, think about it as individuals. So, I have four kids, and you have kids and there are certain stages early on like walking and training. So, yeah, you’re not really thinking about it, but there are aspects of growth and maturing that are like markers here. Oh, just because we made it past that doesn’t mean we’ve arrived. And I just think that’s a healthy way of viewing this and saying, oh, there’s a lot that happens in engagement in this period. How can we capitalize on this rather than not just getting to the wedding. Yeah. Right. It is prioritizing and then assuming that everything takes place because you’re taking two individuals and you’re putting them together. And it’s a beautiful thing. Like you said, it’s a representation of Christ and the church. 

But there are a lot of opportunities for growth and a lot of opportunities for disappointment and hurt going off the rails at times. And so, we need to be able to talk through those. Yep. So, what we’re going to walk through for the rest of this webinar is each of these phases one at a time. What it is and then maybe some teachings that could be good or recommended during that phase.  

So, we’re going to start with this idea of considering marriage. These are individuals who are just beginning to contemplate the idea of marriage and they’re beginning to have those active conversations about marriage. So, they’ve gone from a place of, this isn’t even on my radar to where, okay, so how do I start to even think about approaching the marriage decision? What does that mean? How do we get into that? Where am I at? There’s a very introspective part of this phase. 

You know, am I in a healthy place? Am I in an overcoming state? Am I ready for this decision of marriage? And then what do you even understand of the marriage relationship. Kaleb, how much should we expect someone to understand what marriage is at this stage? 

Is that realistic or what do you think about that? Yeah, that’s a good question. So, I think there’s a difference between that sense of cognitive knowledge we call an understanding of what marriage involves and actually experientially walking in it. And obviously we can’t expect that they’re going to fully understand marriage. I’ve been married for over 20 years, and I don’t fully understand it, but I think I can say I’ve grown in understanding both myself and, and my wife. 

And so, I think it is a process, but to your point, on this continuum, we would say there are unrealistic expectations that if they were set up, no one would ever get married. As far as knowing and understanding marriage, I do think beginning to face the realities that are not just about companion, I would say the aspects of marriage that many who are called into marriage would find themselves drawn to. 

Yeah, companionship, that kind of stuff. Correct. That is also facing the reality that marriage is difficult, and it brings things out in you and up in the other person. Companion never leaves. Right. Sometimes you want some space. So, I think part of that is beginning to wrestle with those realities and tensions. 

Yeah, that’s really good just to think about. So, we’re checking our own knowledge of just what we are getting into or what that looks like. And there’s that balance. We can’t be scared away because big decisions are steps of faith, right? 

We lean upon faith and trust to get through. But then there’s also that introspective piece of am I in a good space for this? At the bottom, it says actively seeking counsel, which I think you’re going to see that theme come up in every phase, which I think is critical, right? 

Because it speaks to the fact that we don’t have to just figure this all out on our own. Yeah, right. We can walk with others through this. Yep. And yeah, I agree. And you know, as I think about that again, I come back to the community aspect of being part of a body and that we impact others. So, we are part of a body and so the things that happen in my life influence others, and so having those others being able to speak into my life is just a healthy part of any community you are a part of.  

And so, I think of actively seeking counsel, those who I am regularly worshiping with, or who’s mentoring me, or who has seen my walk. What a valuable resource for them to come alongside and speak into my life, especially those who have walked in marriage. Yeah. We’re in it and who knows what it involves, and they can look back and say okay well, this is a spot we need to be mindful of. I’m seeing something here that it’s healthy to walk through life with others.  

Let’s just go into a few of the teachings. You’ve got a few things on this screen here and there are others. It’s not meant to be exhaustive, but the top couple of bullets really speak to who we are as individual. Do I have a healthy identity as a single? Am I able to have a healthy level of male female interactions, right? 

Proper boundaries, avoid the extremes. And be able to say, oh, I can have a conversation with someone of the opposite gender. Right. But I also know when it’s too much or inappropriate. Yeah. So, there’s that introspective piece. There’s another teaching, I think, that could be really healthy at this stage. Like, just how do you deal with uncertainty and expectations? Kaleb, do you see that as you work with couples, again, the idea that there will be times when our expectations, even though we try to get them right, are not met. 

Yes. I’m smiling because I’m thinking of situations where I clearly haven’t met Angie’s expectations in my own personal life. On one hand, we need to walk through that but let me come back to your point of this stage of considering marriage. I think beginning to learn and wrestle with the realities of a broken world and being disappointed and how others disappoint us. And guess what, in the stages of engagement, sometimes it’s really hard to realize that this individual who I think is just amazing and wonderful and I see all these wonderful things about them, is going to disappoint me. Yeah, and they’re going to let me down. And actually, that isn’t a bad thing per se, if we are grounded, like you said up here in a healthy view of who we are in the sight of God. 

And there’s a whole aspect here too about just the uncertainty as individuals walk into that stage of life where marriage becomes a possibility. Like, will I get married? Will I not get married? Will it work out the way I thought it was going to work out or will it not? 

Right. To have a proposal that does not happen or gets broken or something like that. That’s real. Whenever you bring two different wills into a situation, two different individuals, there are times when things just do not align, even though well-meaning on both ends and prayerfully discerning on both ends. 

And so how do you process that? Yeah. Right. That is really hard. It is because it even affects our own individual walk with the Lord. And I do appreciate one of the resources that we often call out in this phase of the journey is Sacred Search. And one of the things I really appreciate that Gary Thomas talks about is the emphasis on why we’re married. 

Yeah. And not just getting to it and who, right? Not that who isn’t important, but I think that sense of what it is, why it is that we’re leaning into this, and I think it is that individual spiritual walk and maturity and walking through some of these difficult aspects. So, we go into this whole idea of how do you even make a marriage decision or how do you even approach it, right? 

You know, this is a big decision in someone’s life. Maybe we have a vision of what it means to buy a car or get a job or change jobs or whatever, but how do you even approach the idea of moving into marriage. There are teachings that can be done to speak through principles and decision-making thoughts, and it goes probably to that place of, what is marriage and what should I expect and not expect? 

There’s reflection that can be done. Do I have a proper vision? Am I approaching this in a way of prayerful discernment? That can be really healthy at this stage when you walk through that with an individual with a mentor or someone who can help call out blind spots or point out other questions. But that’s a key aspect of this time of considering marriage forming up a healthy way of approaching marriage decision making.  

Now that last bullet, factors that could lead to marital struggles. Again, are there red flags or are there things that can instantly make you go towards a negative right away? It’s not that we’re trying to go towards negative. We’re just trying to go towards awareness. Right. And I think the reality is that as two individuals come together in marriage and are making a covenant, awareness of factors present that will influence and impact that relationship as much as we can be is important and respectful to the one who is joining a marriage. So yeah, factors like whether it’s traumatic experiences in life, or mental health struggles, there’s a number. We have a list of those, but I think some awareness that life doesn’t start when we get married. It’s actually ongoing and we’ve been shaped and if there are ongoing addictions or struggles that are part of our life, those need intentional thought and work conversation being brought out because that’s going to directly impact the health of the marriage relationship. 

And that goes back to the beginning here where we talk about being in a healthy place as single? Are we moving towards overcoming? Are we realizing what patterns or habits of behavior we have could mean for a marriage relationship? Then, approaching marriage decision-making, we have the faith framework in there. This idea that it’s a model of how we walk in faith and godly wisdom towards the marriage decision with counsel in community. Those are all the things you’d find there. And then just that realistic view of when things are at a place where we need to elevate. We just have some conversations about it so that’s the considering marriage phase. 

The next phase would switch to this idea of engagement. Someone is publicly engaged and they’re going to move towards that wedding day that we talked about earlier. And so now you really start to see each other, right? You’re going to grow in that relationship with each other. 

There’s an aspect of this phase where you want to have that honorable engagement. A phrase I hear often, what is the right level of support and accountability so you can have an honorable engagement. Look back at the end of it and say, I am thankful for how that played out, what that looked like. 

But then undoubtedly, because individuals are coming together, there’s going to be some issues that perhaps proactively, perhaps reactively, arise during this phase. Now, how do you help someone in the love phase of engagement? How do you help them take some of their blinders off if they have blinders on or whatever and say, okay, here are things we need to think about. How do we really do that third bullet there? Act proactively and reactively deal with issues. Yeah. What are some of the thoughts you’ve seen? So, I think it can be a challenge. For all of us, I put myself in this boat as well, we would say, as we talk about engagement, we’ve all heard the term infatuation, right? 

Yeah. And some say the shelf life of infatuation is one to two years, so where it affects our ability to actually see the reality of our spouse or future spouse or fiancé. Even if they’re not red flags, just areas of those quirks and habits that will be annoying one day, it’s going to be an opportunity for forbearance. 

Yes. And so, I think we have to accept that some of that is going to be present that affects perception. But we can still speak into it and come alongside. And begin to have conversations about the reality of that. And how this affects your perception through the engagement phase. 

And I would elevate when we say dealing with issues. Now, if we’re talking about addiction, that, to me, is different than having difficulty having a conversation around if they serve pulled pork or steaks. That is different. So, I think, depending on what we’re talking about for issues, obviously, we would say with the addiction piece, we need to take an additional look and think about how we’re going to address that. 

Yeah, I think some of those will get a little bit more specific in the next slide when we talk about teachings, but just two highlights before we switch. So, obviously, that’s a great place for counsel. Right? We’re going to want counsel walking through that with people, mentor couples, the elder, church leadership, to have some of these conversations. Yeah, and I think that’s where, to your piece, Arlan, those in the support group are really helpful to be in connection with. Because whether it’s parents or whether it’s a mentor, ongoingly walking with this couple and knowing our issues coming up. Can we have conversations? 

How would they, how do they see this couple growing and maturing and then it all leads to the wedding day. There’s a danger, I think, on the extremes, we can overemphasize the wedding day and suddenly engagement becomes what the wedding day is going to look like. 

And that’s the old over focus perhaps, but yet we also want to realize that’s beautiful and very important right? A ceremony where it is a transition time of moving from the 2 to the 1 and going forward from that place. And so, it needs to be done with reverence, respect, and honor. Making a covenant. Yeah. In the presence of God and others, absolutely, and it cannot be minimized. Yeah. Right. And I think, again, so just an awareness that’s an important part of this phase as well, that you want to keep in mind.  

Let’s go into the teachings. So, there are probably a hundred different things and there’s just not time and awareness. There are just a lot of barriers to covering everything. But there are some that rise to the top. So, we’ve listed five, and there’s more we could. But again, Kaleb, speak to some of these. What are a couple points as you look at this list of love languages, gender differences, leaving and cleaving, communication, roles in marriage, growth in intimacy. What are some points that you think are really healthy as you watch couples in the engagement phase?  

Yeah, I think this piece, Arlan, of, again, this is a couple that is beginning to know about each other, or they may have known each other before. There are various circumstances, but this is, we would say, deepening intimacy in an honorable way. They’re moving towards each other emotionally, and physically. They’re clear on boundaries, but there is a deepening bond that is taking place and we want to cultivate that in a healthy way. We would say that healthy intimacy is being able to be together in an intimate and appropriate way. 

And in that process, certainly a big component is that as you can see, they’re leaving and cleaving and that is beginning the separation from parents and turning towards spouse. And obviously, sometimes this can go smoothly, sometimes we run into circumstances and situations where this can be challenging. And so, I think it’s an important piece to be teaching about being able to communicate and to walk alongside this couple. How does the saying go? Blood runs thick. Yeah, and so there are components that I think are just a reality of walking through this space. I think it is important to speak into that leaving and cleaving. So, there’s a piece where you are really getting to know each other as a couple in a whole different way. Everything’s the focus on the wedding. You’re going to be together for the rest of your lives. 

How do we begin to know each other. But also, we can sprint into that and think we have to do everything. And there’s also the realization of, you know, this is a lifelong journey. Yeah. But every time you uncover a rock or turn over a stone, there’s just a new aspect of our individualness that has to be walked through. What does that look like? And how do we navigate through that? Yeah. A wise person told me, during this phase, often you find that couples can be answering questions to someone. It’s always like, okay, I’m meeting with my mentor couple or meeting with my church leadership. 

And they’re asking me a question about responding, but it can be really, really healthy to just turn towards each other and have conversations about each other. It depends. I mean, everybody comes in at different levels of knowing. Maybe people have been childhood friends, but maybe you have no idea what high school was like for your fiance or what childhood growing up was like, or what some of your dreams and hopes and visions for the future are and what do you wish you could do if you knew you wouldn’t fail? 

Right? I mean, just questions like that raise awareness. Yeah. And to your point, there is intimacy in that. If I’m talking with you, Arlan here, and we’re talking like this, it’s a different feeling when I’m looking in your eye and turning towards you. And I think that reality is a couple, even in the midst of making a lot of decisions about the wedding and all of these things, but to be able to take time, like you’re saying, to just be with each other in a very special way through this phase of engagement to learn and grow about what each other’s love languages are, various things, different aspects. I mean, it really sets kind of a lifetime trajectory of saying, you matter to me and who you are matters to me. And I want to know everything about you. And that’s a beautiful trajectory to be on versus like business partners or whatever, trying to move towards something we have to do. And I paint that in an extreme.  

But it goes towards the level of two assessments here. Some of this Saving your Marriage before it Starts and then the Prepare assessment and there are others out there. But these would be assessments that you could take individually. And as a couple, you’d come together and maybe with a mentor walk through them. Okay, here’s some points to be aware of. Yeah, right. 

I think that’s really helpful, Arlan, just that aspect of self reflection, but also reflection as a couple. Based on this assessment, what are the areas in which we have strengths coming into this relationship at this point. What are areas that we do need to be aware of, not that we need to be afraid of, but we need to be aware of? Are these areas that we continue to need to be intentional about, areas that are challenging for us either individually or as a couple? And those are helpful ways to just expose and at least begin conversations about them.  

So, there’s really a discovery component to this whole phase as we discover who we are and what that looks like in a relationship. Now, that’s going to hopefully lay a foundation for this last phase we’ll talk about today. The early years of marriage. And so, you take whatever you want, let’s say in the first 3, 4, or 5 years of marriage. What does this look like? And again, I think this is when the things that you do just start to become habits. Without change, they’ll become kind of set in stone. And so, you really want to think about, okay, what’s the foundation we’re building? What are the practices we’re doing? How are we deepening in our intimacy of all types?  

So, there’s obviously the physical intimacy that takes place, but there are a lot of other types of intimacy that really further physical intimacy that we want to jump to. How are we engaging within the church body, like you talked about earlier, and how do we proactively grow and even vision for the future? I mean, as a couple there’s an identity formation taking place here, right? Yeah, it’s interesting. And you talking about building foundational skills reminds me of an author who talks about choosing your ruts wisely and that whole idea. You’re forming certain habits and living together. 

What ruts do you want to get stuck in? Because the reality is we do kind of get stuck in certain habits. And if you can begin to choose certain ways of practicing, whether it’s spiritual practices together or ways of turning towards each other and build that early on and develop habits that can be very formative and foundational for years to come. I think there’s one other piece I want to emphasize. By doing this in phases, you stretch this out a little bit. There could be pressure to think we have to learn everything before the wedding day and the reality is yeah, there are things you want to be intentional about and step into, but there’s no way to learn everything. 

And it’s actually very different when you’re 24/7 living together. Right. There are still things that will pop up, new things will pop up. And so, giving permission to say we’re going to be intentional about growth and engagement, but realize it doesn’t end there. It continues on at a whole other level in early marriage. Yeah, but have an intentionality to say we’re going to keep learning and we’re going to keep growing. And I think back to what we referenced earlier Arlan, but I think there is a difference in how we do that.  

So, in my relationship with Ange, I tend to be a withdrawer, because I don’t want to hurt her, or I don’t want to say something hurtful. So, I know I need to cognitively lean into, engage, and work through conflict. But when it comes up, that’s another story. And so, I think learning has to happen kind of on the job. Yeah, on the job training that says, okay, we’ve learned about what healthy principles are. Now, how do we apply them to our life? And I think early in a relationship, especially when you move from infatuation, to starting to realize, oh, there are some differences here that I didn’t realize. 

And this is hard and uncomfortable and some walk through phases in a relationship where there is bonding, and then this conflict comes up and it really unsettles us until we get to a new grounded place of intimacy. And during these years, it can happen differently for different couples, but that’s going to come up. Yeah. In one of the resources, there’s an exercise that encourages a couple to find couples in their church community who have been married 0 to 5 years. I think I’m going to say like 5 to 15 years and 15 to 25 years and 25 to 35 years. Just have a conversation. Find a couple and have a conversation and just ask them some of those questions like what do you wish you would have known? 

And what have you gone through that first five years of marriage? Okay, now the next ten years of marriage and the next ten years because it is an ongoing lifelong thing. Yeah, and the ruts we form will be harder to unform. And we’ll quickly go back to them. So, just have that mindset of intentional growth informing that discipline here early on. So again, there are probably a thousand things we could talk about with this, different teachings and things like that. We’ve listed a few, building a solid foundation, cultivating friendship and connection, conflict management and repair, establishing healthy sexual intimacy, and the past’s impact on marriage. 

Again, Kaleb, what are a couple of lessons, as you’ve worked with couples that you think couples need to really think about in the early stages of marriage. Yeah, so it’s hard just to pick out. But certainly, I think the two pieces that come to mind or maybe I’ll say three are continuing to cultivate friendship. We do a lot of that early on in engagement, and even early marriage, but I think that is really an important piece that sets the stage of working through conflict well. Because what I find with couples who sometimes struggle in the area of conflict management, the factor is the lack of friendship. 

Not always. I mean, we need skills and, so I don’t want to oversimplify this, but they aren’t disconnected. And over your relationship as a couple, you have to really cultivate friendship. That seems to come more natural early on in engagement, but I think that sets the stage for conflict repair and the ability to manage conflict in a healthy way. And what we would refer to as come back to repair and make sense of. of what just happened. How is it that we both responded like we did. Which, I think, ties into the past’s impact on marriage. Sometimes in marriage through conflict, beginning to recognize what it is that my spouse brings out in me that’s not about my spouse. 

It’s about me. Your shadow almost, you use that term. Yes. That becomes your background. And beginning to recognize and be honest and learn and grow in that piece, I think is really important through those years of marriage. So this is  a phase or a stage of life where being with others can be very helpful, but definitely with each other you want to form those intentional patterns of growth. 

And there is a host of resources at the bottom. You see just a nod to the marriage conferences and seminars and retreats that we put on as an agency just to encourage intentional growth at all stages of marriage. But especially if you think about that foundation building that’s taking place here. 

Any other thoughts on this before we shift to the final. Yeah. And I think part of this too in building the foundation certainly we think about spiritual intimacy and working through what that means. As an individual, you form certain kinds of rhythms and patterns, and now, as a couple, what does this look like? This is really important but sometimes it can be challenging. Foundational, though, right? Correct. It’s so foundational. Yes. And all those conversations which lead you to an opportunity of either turning towards each other and growing in connection or turning away and growing in disconnection. That again becomes a pattern of behavior that you can do.  

So, there’s a lot more that could be covered, a lot more that could be talked about. We’re just going to leave with this page of resources, and these will be on the web site where this webinar recording is housed. But there’s a series of books at the bottom. You’ve already referenced the Sacred Search. We’ve referenced Saving your Marriage before it Starts. There’s a test and then also our assessment. And then there’s also a workbook that goes along with it with excellent activities in it. Cherish speaks more to really furthering and building marital enrichment. Marriage couple, marriage journal is a wonderful resource. 

At the top of the page, there are a few booklets that we have developed or are in the process of developing that really speak into some of these different stages. Considering marriage will address marriage decision making and look at that stage. Now we are Engaged is a simple pamphlet as you go into that engagement phase with some things to think about just top of mind, and then Growing a Strong Marriage has a whole host of resources, teachings, and encouragement for the engagement stage, but also the early marriage stage. And then there’s a whole variety of resources on our website under the marriage resources tab, webinars, podcasts, teaching articles.  

Yeah, any last thoughts, Kaleb? If anybody has questions, please feel free to chat them in. But any last thoughts, before we close? Yeah. I just walking through this piece is seeing our journey and walk of life. I think there are different phases and stages. And I’m excited about the opportunity to be able to engage this process within our church and certainly at ACCFS. And seeing this journey and aspects of it we can be very intentional and discipleship in each stage as we’re moving towards. 

We talked about marriage here. The same is true about singleness. So, this isn’t exclusive. I think it’s more about a path of maturing and growing in Christ and our different phases in life stage. The intentionality of discipleship. I love that. So, wherever you find yourself, maybe you’ve been married for years and you’re thinking about kids or grandkids, or maybe you find yourself in a discipleship relationship with someone. Wherever you find yourself, how do we continue to support and encourage healthy marriages as they are a reflection of the gospel and an encouragement to the church, to families, to society around us?