Developing Relationships Webinar

How to Build Relationships

How do I build and develop a deeper relationship with someone? This is one of the most common questions about interacting with others whether as a mentor, teacher, parent, or even friend. In this webinar, we talk through various elements which all of us are looking for in relationships that progress to deeper levels. Listen in as we share practical steps and advice on intentionally developing relationships.


Relationships First: Developmental Relationships Framework Handout (Search Institute)


Our topic tonight is developing and building relationships. And, this is a question that Matt and I get quite a bit especially in the area of mentoring, how do you build a relationship with someone or how do you take a relationship to another level?

So I wanna kind of put a couple of scenarios in your mind as we introduce and just start thinking around this topic. So imagine whether maybe you have been asked to engage with someone in a relationship. Maybe you’ve been asked to mentor someone or disciple someone, or it’s developng an intentional relationship with someone maybe that’s been asked upon you or perhaps maybe you just feel the Spirit nudging you that there’s an individual in church or in your setting of some type that you wanna reach out to and start a conversation and just kind of see where that goes. For most of us at least, I think, that can be a little bit unnerving. Like, you know, what do I do first? Or, what’s my first step? And it doesn’t necessarily matter whether it’s a mentor, mentee, type relationship, or maybe it’s Sunday School teacher, Sunday School student type situation. Or even as we went through some of these principles that we’re gonna walk through today, my mind kept going back even to my own kids. And as a parent trying to engage in a relationship with my kids and take it to another level. What are some things to think about?

What are some questions to be asking? What are some different ways to step into that. And so, that’s really the genesis tonight and that’s really the hope of what we cover. And, Matt and I are gonna walk through a few concepts, share a few ideas, and, a few examples. And then we’ll turn it over to discussion later in the evening. And so Matt, why don’t you pick up with the model we kind of settled on and talk through that just a little bit. Yeah, sure will. Glad to be with you all. So like to think about this concept of developing relationships, five elements here. We’re gonna approach these five elements.

This might be what the person you’re trying to build a relationship with. This might be five requests that they have. Think about it that way or maybe five basic building blocks that is required, five characteristics. So we’re gonna step through each one of these. Try to separate what they are and what they’re not so that we can understand them. And then Arlan and I will provide some examples and what it looks like. So the very first one, that a person needs or is asking of us is do I matter to you? This concept of expressing care? We express care with those that we have relationship with.

And so, this is the very first of five elements. Show me that I matter to you. The next one, push me to get better, to keep getting better. This concept of challenging growth is a component to think about having present in your relationships. This gives us another category for which to think about questions, to think about ideas, to think about activities with a person.

What are those ideas, activities, questions, conversations that would challenge a person’s growth? A third one being to provide support. This person is asking you, help me complete tasks and achieve goals. Support me, come alongside me come underneath me, empower me. This concept of coming around and providing that support is something that those we help and have relationship with are asking.

Number four is sharing power. This concept of treat me with respect and give me a say in the matter where we share power with those that we have relationship with, that we realize that this isn’t necessarily a one way street and they are not just the end recipient of our charity. But this is a relationship where we give and take and we share power back one to another.

And then finally, the fifth one as being expand my possibilities. So that person is asking you to connect them with people and places to broaden their horizons. Okay. Expand their possibilities. And so this now gives us a wider angle view with this individual to realize that we are not the end all in this relationship, but I want to be able to connect this person.

I want to be able to connect this person with the outside world with other people, with a larger community. So these are the five basic elements of developing a relationship that we’re going to walk through tonight. Hopefully provide some examples. Hopefully we’ll spur your mind perhaps to some questions or maybe answer some of your questions.

But if nothing else as we leave tonight that we will be thinking, Okay, so I’ve been asked to step into this situation, or I have this relationship that I’m in. These are five spaces, places to think, start to be creative about and to intentionally meet. Okay. So what we’re gonna do is step through each one carefully.

Arlan, let’s start with expressing care. Sure, sure. Glad to do that. And we should mention, we got this model from a organization called The Search Institute. It’s a not-for-profit organization that develops and they seem to be really practical and really powerful. And we found ourselves saying, you know, this is it. This is what we do. This is something that I think about. And, it really helps kind of put ’em into words, right? So, you see kind of a progression here. And the first idea is just expressing care.

And I’m gonna read the bullets there in front and just talk ’em through a little bit here. So, expressing care, the bullet speaks to be someone that I can trust, okay? Really pay attention when we are together. Make me feel known and valued, and praise me for my efforts and achievements. This according to the research, and as you just think on your own life, these are questions and values and things that all of us, I think are thinking as we evaluate our relationships, right?

Does this person that I’m interacting with, that I’m spending time with, are they someone that I can trust? Are they paying attention to me? Right? In today’s world that means things like put the cell phone down or make sure it’s on silent. There’s been studies that say that even a cell phone, which I’m very guilty of this, a cell phone on the table just even like turned over on the table. Just having that in, it’s like a third party in that relationship and it’s kind of signifying that you’re important to me as long as something more important doesn’t come through on the phone, right?

As long as something else doesn’t interrupt us at this point. And so this idea of just really making sure that when your time is together, the first, especially the first few times you’re together with someone, that they can tell that your eyes are on them. That this is you’re focused, you’re intent, and that they really matter to you.

We sometimes talk about the idea that, the goal of your first meeting is to have a second meeting, right? Is to show a person because you generally care enough about them that they wanna get together with you again. And, for myself, sometimes I wanna cut to the chase and kind of get to a resolution fairly quickly.

And lots of times especially younger generations or whatever lots of times that’s not the most prudent or the most effective, you know, takes time, right, to build that trust and that relationship. It speaks also to that third point. Make me feel known and make me feel valued.

One of the most fundamental needs for all of us is to feel heard and listened to. And so just being a listening ear, we hear about it all the time, but it doesn’t make it any less true to be a listening ear for someone that they can feel like they were listened to and reflected back to and, that kind of a thing is a very powerful principle. And then the final point that I think is really important is this idea of praising individuals whenever possible. If there’s a effort or an achievement or something just to step in the right direction to really be generous with our praise. When I was in the classroom teaching high schoolers for years, that principle struck home to me. I remember the Lord speaking to me early on in my teaching career and saying, there’s a proverb I think that says something to the effect of, withhold not good from them to who it is due when it’s in the power of your hand to give it.

It’s a powerful, powerful principle that too quickly, I think, I jump to, okay, this needs to be fixed and this needs to be fixed, and this needs to be fixed. You know, you’re not where you need to be when in reality, let’s take time at the beginning to build up those building blocks of trust and safety and encouragement and praise and kind of build that relationship capital first before we get into the next phases on the list. So Matt, any thoughts you have to share with that or else we can move on to challenging growth? That’s excellent. I think some other kind of examples of that is to find lighthearted things that, to talk about and to share and have in common or to celebrate. I think sometimes when we have relationships, especially with needy individuals, the relationship becomes primarily about that need. And we want people to be able to separate their issues from our relationship that our relationship isn’t just because of the issue.

And I realize that’s dicey because sometimes it’s the issue that brings about the relationships that we’ve been asked to step into, depending on whatever situation is, if you’re a mentor or whatnot. But to quickly move beyond that to say, you know what, Even if this issue wasn’t a part of the makeup of our relationship, I would still want to be in a relationship with you.

And so what is that affinity? You know, is it a common love for music? Is it, do you know of their fascination for, or they’re an enthusiast of X, Y, or Z? To be able to make connection on those points and I know I personally try to make connection with certain individuals completely apart from never once referencing the issue that we both know we’re working on.

Because I want them to know that when I see them in church that their issue doesn’t flash before me, but I see their person, I see their Christ likeness and so, it’s just some thoughts to think about there.

So as we go to challenging growth, and that’s really a probably a segue to that. We express care. We’re able to separate the person from their issue. But then now quickly go to challenging growth and they want to be challenged in growth. This concept of having a growth mindset, right? Where we expect change and they expect change.

So a few bullets to consider. Number one, expect me to live up to my potential. Remember, all of these are phrased from their perspective. Imagine that person that you are working with, it could be even your son or daughter, these work very well or could be a mentee you’ve been asked to disciple.

They’re asking, they’re making these points. They say, expect me to live up to my potential. Push me to go. Insist I take responsibility for my actions. Now, fourth is, help me learn, from my mistakes and my setbacks. This is really speaking to that growth concept. And just to give you some encouragement here with this particular one, really lean into the space of casting vision for people.

I still remember people doing that to me, grabbing me by the lapel of my suit as a young person and speaking vision, future ideas, things I ought to be thinking about. They inspired me beyond what my own limited view and life experience was. You have got, depending on who we’re talking to, you might have more breadth of experience.

You are able perhaps to be able to see gifting, for example and to provide that vision really is exciting. And I think one thing, Arlan, I think about this particular one of channel challenging growth. I think there’s a mindset that every, and every discipler mentor needs to have, and that is the vision that those that we help would exceed ourselves. I came confronted to that in the classroom all the time as I taught very smart mathematics students. And, it wasn’t hard for me to understand that these students were smarter than me, were gonna go much further than me.

And to get behind their success in a way to say, I wanna make these kids so much more successful than me, and use that when quotes, right? But the concept is I’m not trying to just build a classroom of students who follow me along their whole life, where I am the ceiling of what they can do, keeping them under me.

I want them to surpass me. And as we think, even as we disciple people, right? I hope that this individual knows more Scripture than I know. I hope that in a couple of years they come back and really help me understand some wonderful deep truths, right? And, I think that challenges our thinking even sometimes with people, that we would be that forward thinking with some of our relationships.

If I could jump in there, I think that’s a wonderful point because, and it’s a very selfless point, right? It really puts the focus on the individual and saying, we want to help this person exceed where we are. We want them to be all that God wants them to be. And, you can’t have that mindset without them feeling loved and valued and purposeful and really being challenged to a deeper level. I think this point is what separates, starts to separate out what I would call an intentional relationship versus a casual relationship. Everything we talked about in the first part you can have with just about anyone that you sit next to in church lunch on a regular basis. I think there’s a point, and often it’s a permission point. You know, as the relationship grows and you sense the person is open to that to kind of taking the relationship to another level, there’s a point when it transitions to more intentional, more purposeful we are going to go beyond expressing care to expecting growth or pushing to another level. And sometimes I think that’s formal, that’s kind of asked upon us, you know, a parent is made a teacher student example is a great example because, you know, if there’s a formal relationship there where you’re expected to learn from the teacher.

But then sometimes I think some of the most beautiful ones are ones that just naturally the Spirit leads and the relationship develops. One further point if I could on this, just that last bullet about helping learn from mistakes and setbacks. Failures can be beautiful teachers and I have a bias against failures, especially in the relationships that I engage with.

I wanna do everything I can. I think about my kids, right? Of trying to protect from failures. I need to teach others how to fail well and learn from those failures. That can be a very teachable moment if it’s embraced as such. So really I appreciate those points. We just had this life experience with my kids at the fair.

And as they were going to see their projects and what ribbon were they gonna win. And one of my children said, oh, I hope I don’t get a red ribbon or what if I get a, I think she said, what if I get a red ribbon on that? I said, well, that will be really special if you get a red ribbon because you will leave here today knowing just exactly how to improve for next year. If you get a blue ribbon, you probably won’t know what to do differently for next year, but if you get a red one, you certainly will know how to improve. It’s a tremendous way to view mistakes, but we have to walk with people kind of through that process.

And I think that leads to the next one. If you’re ready, we can go to the next one, because I think it leads greatly with that one. So these bullets here under provide support, guide through hard situations, build confidence and take charge, build my confidence and take charge of my life. Help the individual take ownership of their life.

Defend me though when I need it and put in place limits to keep me on track. So some big points to pull out of this one, but I think, one of the ones that just ties real close with what you were sharing there, Matt, is this idea that feedback, a mentor of mine has always challenged me and says feedback is a gift.

Feedback is a wonderful thing. You need to learn to embrace feedback of any type and grow from it. And I think that is a way that we can provide support for others by helping coach through feedback, just like you did with your daughter there, I was curious how she received that feedback and if she was open to that idea of learning from a red ribbon. Some of those things have to marinate a while. They aren’t caught right away. Yeah. So, I think with this support piece, you’ve got that feedback piece, you’ve got practical things. Sometimes what we need to do is just help someone with some skills and teach some skills or help a person walk through the steps to take in a situation or anything along those lines, right? That this is a hard conversation. I can see you need to have. Let’s practice it. Let’s, you know, I’ll be the person. You have the conversation with me and let’s talk that through. But then, the other side of this is defending.

That’s a beautiful opportunity that we have as the trust is built in relationships. As the relationships develop, there’s a point when sometimes we’re called upon to be the advocate for whoever it is, an advocate for our kids, for our students, for a mentee, for our Sunday School students. Whatever it is to defend them and play that role for them, I think can be powerful.

And then the last one actually dovetails with a question that one of you shared, which I really appreciated. And just this idea, how do we help put limits on individuals? And I would extend it just on relationships. What are the proper boundaries that we should be encouraging and teaching and talking about?

And we don’t have time to go into a lot of detail with that topic. But there are, we have done another podcast on that. We’ve done another webinar on that, and there’s a few resources on our website, just on that whole topic of boundaries, that’s a very real aspect here. Sometimes the role that we play, most effective role that we play is to help others learn their limits.

And, often that happens as we model those limits ourselves to them and are willing to kind of put some boundaries around that relationship, so very powerful, principle. And part of the architecture of support to Arlan is knowing what support to give and how that support should change over time.

I mean, we take rearing and raising children. The supports that are put in place in the first few years of life are far more and required and extensive than the supports when they’re 24. Right. So the support changes but it yet is always present. And I think sometimes that’s the challenge, I think is we are in relationships like this to say, boy, should I be doing this should I not be doing this? And that’s a tough question to answer sometimes, but just this wherewithal that the supports will change over time. Certainly we don’t want a dependency to come about where they are dependent upon our support. That then would violate those boundaries that you alluded to.

Yep, absolutely. And I think it leads to the next one to that shared power piece there. Where you just transition, take place. Yeah. So with the shared power, read the bullets here, but they’re asking, take me seriously and treat me fairly. They want us to be involved, involve me in decisions that affect me.

Work with me to solve problems and reach goals, create opportunities for me to take action and lead. We can see here a transfer of power. So yes, this follows this support concept. I’m providing support, but maybe I’m taking off some training wheels and I’m asking and transferring some power to this person.

And that’s what taking a person seriously really means. I mean, when a boss walks away from an intern, they’ve just taken them very seriously that they can do the job that they’ve asked them to do. And so when we do that, that is quite a stamp of confidence in that person. And they’re asking for that. That’s all a part of the relationship by involving them in decisions that you are relinquishing that control over to them.

Sharing that decision making process. Giving them options might be nice way to ease a person into these decisions. Say, well, I think these are your options, A, B, C, D. And talking through that of allowing them into that decision making process, allowing them to chart their course in a sense is incredibly important, working with them to solve problems, to walk through the problem solving process with them to reach goals is incredibly important. I think a great one there with the third bullet is helping them define what those goals are. And that might be in the challenging growth where we’ve already been, but, allowing them some decision making. What are your goals?

What I really like in relationships like this, intentional relationships where you’re intending to help a person to clarify goals, I think is a really helpful thing. Arlan, some thoughts that you might have on this one. Well, the only thing I have is to share is this idea of, there’s this image that’s in my head as you’ve been talking there, that it’s almost like those, you have those two, you know, curves as a person’s involvement grows.

And their ability to handle things grow, our involvement should be going down. Right? And you see that inverse relationship that if the whole purpose, the long term goal of relationships is to encourage someone and build them to a point where it’s almost self perpetuating where they are then able to engage in relationship themselves.

Then there will be a point as our role changes and their involvement increases and our involvement decreases. And, I think that’s a powerful piece here that’s underneath sharing power. There’s a phrase I heard once, called key chain leadership. There’s a really powerful principle behind leadership and encouraging that to perpetuate the idea that you got this picture of, I mean, in our school it was the janitor, right? Had all of these keys, this huge wad of keys on the side of his belt, and they opened every door and then some that was in the school. And you as a young kid, I always was like, man, that guy has power, right? Because he has all the keys, right?

Who owns the keys has the power. The idea being that if we can start to share some of those keys, start to give opportunity for someone else to do what they can do, that’s when we’re really demonstrating confidence in them. That’s when we’re really showing that we trust them. That’s when we’re really putting our actions where our mouth is and allowing them to step into that and then let the experience that happens there be a very powerful teacher for that individual.

So really like that concept of sharing power. And it’s not easy. I can think of examples where I guess using the vernacular here, shared power too quickly or expected too much and they simply fell under the weight of the responsibility and was not able to carry it out.

I’m even thinking in church situations, there was a time where we were working with our young group, our young singles and there was some tasks and things that we thought, okay, they should take this, by the horns and do this. And,we didn’t provide the scaffolding required to really allow that to happen successfully. And so then we’re kind of picking up the pieces and kind of dealing with the fallout of what seems like a failure, right, and trying to work that through again. So it comes off pretty nice. I totally understand at these platitudes, but being able to do that is quite a gift, I think.

And so, a skill set to really be nurtured, to know that balance of, okay, they can handle this or the person I’m working with should be able to handle this and then to entrust them with that, I think is, yeah, is really what this is speaking to. It’s really good. Okay, it ties with the last one.

So this idea of expanding possibilities, it speaks directly to this, right? Help us, Matt, you alluded to this early. Help me to see the possibilities for my future. Help me see the vision. What could it be? Expose me to two new ideas, new experiences, places, and tying in with that, introduce me to the people who can help me grow.

A couple of thoughts with this one, I think, are relevant. I was speaking with a friend just this last weekend who has a senior daughter and she’s starting to think about going to school and he was given the advice and I think it’s some wise advice. Instead of help trying to get her to figure out his senior daughter, figure out what she likes or what she wants to do, sometimes a healthy question is, what don’t you like? Or what don’t you wanna do? And kind of give some experiences for them to kind of dabble, well, maybe we’ll try to do something in the healthcare field, do some type of job there. Maybe we’ll do a job in the trades and pretty soon I think we start to say, Ah, that’s not me and that’s not really me. And it’s helping create those environments where, by eliminating kind of what we don’t like to do, we start to get a sense of gifting. And maybe this is where God is calling me to do. That’s an opportunity we have in these relationships is to start to expand those possibilities.

It makes us into a connector and we connect our mentee, our student, our child, whatever, it might be, we connect them with other people and other experiences or places which then help teach them even further. And, for me that’s a very freeing thing. Because, the converse is to think that I have to continually have all of the answers or have it all figured out.

But, in reality, sometimes what I’m called to do is just to connect A and B and just to get this individual in contact with someone else who can then go to another level with them or connect with them at our level. And so that lens, oh, that takes the humility too, I think, to pass a student along. And I know my wife studied cello for a while and she remembers when one teacher whom she loved very much, and she was rehearsing with that teacher. And that teacher came to a point and said, Rebecca, I am going to refer you now to the next teacher that you need because I cannot help anymore. And it would be such a temptation for a teacher, right, to want to keep that student but yet to realize where I need to pass another person along is a really a juncture that every teacher has to come to. And really it’s not, it’s very much the same here as we work with people.

Why don’t you go ahead and go to the last graphic that we have to share tonight and kind of talk that through. And then, so all of these elements that we’ve kind of been unpacking here tonight, you might realize probably don’t happen at once, don’t happen all at the same time, don’t happen in the first five minutes of your first meeting. That probably goes without saying. So what does it look like to develop a relationship in action, what does it look like in progress? So if we look at these four things; one is we get to know each other, two is we build trust, three confirm commitment, four invest in growth. And what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna overlay that now, these four developments against our five characteristics that we’ve been talking about. It might look something like this. So,there’s a lot of content here. So let’s unpack this carefully. So along the left hand side, there you have the five elements that we have carefully talked about.

We have expressed care for a person, challenge growth, provide support, share power, expand possibilities. As we move from left to right, the relationship develops. Notice that at the outset, at the very start, we’re doing a lot of what? Expressing care. We’re listening. We have a warmth about us.

We’re also sharing power back and forth. We realize we’re trying to communicate that this isn’t just a one way street, but I am looking forward to having benefit from you. I respect you. And so we can see on the left hand side, those are where we start. Now, if I go all the way to the right hand side, well then a lot of things are happening.

That might be six months from now, right? But all five of these elements are being hit on. We are advocating, we are challenging, we are stretching, we are holding accountable, we are broadening horizons and expanding possibilities, right? So they’re all gonna come into picture, but perhaps in time. And as you can see, moving from left to right, they kind of build on each other.

Yeah, I really like to see the progression of this, Matt, as you share that out that it builds on each other. And, I know for myself, one of the traps I get into, as I said before, is I like to jump into fix it mode, and so I like to jump over into like the fourth quadrant there into investing in growth right away, and I forget that I need to take some time, right? And I need to build that and earn the capital, the relationship capital to then invest in the growth over that. And this visual has always been very helpful for me to realize that there’s kind of a progression that takes place there.

I really like some of the nuances here too, Arlan, so expect my best. So we can see challenging growth comes into the relationship pretty quickly. But is it by us stretching them or holding them accountable or reflecting on failure, not about failure right now, maybe not so quickly. No, that’s exactly right. You expect the best first, and then you get to the failures later there. Absolutely. One of the questions that came in from the registration again was on this idea of, within the young group, how do I build casual relationships and kind of mentor younger members of the young group, which is an excellent question.

It’s a wonderful question. And, as I look at this chart here in front of me, and I think about that question, my mind goes to sometimes it is about getting to know each other and building that trust and that relationship. And so often that can take time and take the right, events, activities just to get to know you type things.

Maybe it manifests in having an evening where you just share stories about each other or share some past histories about each other just so you can know each other at a deeper level. And that’s gonna start to build that trust, which then leads towards opening doors. We hear a lot about the idea of being vulnerable and being open with each other and that’s really what this has demonstrated.

That as you do that in those first couple steps, then that opens doors later on. Arlan, names exploded in my mind when that question came through, right? How do I, how can I mentor people in a young group? Or how can that relationship build? My mind explodes with brothers that were exactly that for me, in the young group, and as I look at this, inspire was huge.

There was an include me. Absolutely. In fact, just as I reflect back on some of those individuals, they included me at costs to themselves, if that makes sense. But all of that was necessary to have the effect of being challenged by older single brothers in that time of life. And I love the model that you laid out there earlier, Matt, the idea that these relationships are to become bigger than ourselves. That the goal of this is that an individual will ultimately be better than what we are. And that selflessness points to that.

Any other thoughts to share on this or else we can move on to some of the questions and open it up. If others have questions to share, they can unmute and ask them. I think that’s a good idea, Arlan. Let’s do that. Okay. So if you have questions, if you have something you’d like to share you can formulate it, unmute your mic, and share it.

Just a few that we gleaned from the registration and we’ve already talked about a couple of them, the last couple there on that page we’ve already talked about. But the first one, maybe Matt, I’ll ask you. What is your favorite tactic to understand others in the way that they want to be understood?

Kind of an interesting question and there’s, I’m sure, a lot of excellent ways this could be answered and I certainly won’t touch on all of them, but one thing that comes to mind is to ask permission. I think asking permission is a tremendous way to show respect to another person.

To get their permission to speak into their life, ask their opinion. So, for example, just to simply ask this question, do you think I understand you? I think I understand you. Do you feel like you’re understood by me? To give them permission to say, no, Matt, I don’t think you do understand me.

And then to take that at face value and say, okay, I need to listen more. Then help me understand you. So, the favorite tactic to understand others in the way that they want to be understood is, I think, to be a questioner. To ask questions, to ask permission, and to allow them to confirm they’ve been understood or heard rather than me deducing or thinking that I do, if that makes sense. You know, that’s a great point there. I think for the second one, how do you motivate a mentee who’s not interested in having a mentor? The initial thought that comes to my mind is that you start slow. What you definitely don’t do is you don’t jump over to the right hand side of that quadrant and try to invest in growth right away, or tell them what to do or overdo it there. I think you start there with just seek to create an environment where you’ll listen and are warm and start to, and maybe again, in the church world, maybe it means you just purpose to try to have lunch with them and just have a general conversation during lunch and do that a few times and let that relationship grow. Often if people feel trusted and respected and listened to, they become more interested in further dialogue and feedback and mentorship. And then some never quite get there. And so part of it is also just having realistic expectations that it’s really hard to get someone who doesn’t want it to want it. Just that’s a really hard thing to do. And, sometimes we never get there. And so it’s okay to just start slow and let the Spirit do his work in the background. And, I might add to that, Arlan, just that there’s a limiting factor for sure if the mentee is not motivated and interested, and so what I would encourage a person to is to allow, how well does that mentee understand that they’re not motivated and interested? I think that is something that we can help them because they need to know that of themselves. I think there are some people who are not motivated and interested, but they think they are, but they’re not. And, so the question then becomes, how do I help this person see that they’re really not motivated and interested? And, when that is out in the open and they understand that, then we can talk about that, the issue actually, nevermind what the other issues were.

That now becomes the issue that’s before us. And we approach this relationship with that being what we’re thinking about. And, so anyway, hopefully that’s helpful. No, I appreciate that. Any other questions out there in the audience? Appreciate those who have joined us tonight.

Any questions that you’d like to share or ask us while you have some time or share experiences with each other. I know many of you are doing this and this is a part of your reality, no doubt. Would welcome further insights on any of these questions or any of the content. Well, we really appreciate you joining us tonight.

Hopefully we’ve given you some food for thought and maybe a model or some things to think about whatever venue you find yourself in, whether it’s a mentor mentee relationship, a discipleship type relationship, maybe it’s just casual friends and you want to think about taking that friendship to another level, or it’s a teacher student or a parent child, whatever relationship it is.

Hopefully, as you think about these different principles and some of the examples are shared, they just spur some thoughts and the Spirit can work through those and continue to encourage relationships to continue to develop. Any last thoughts, Matt, or anything else you wanna share?

Maybe you would share where they could find resources, this particular resource or others, Absolutely. Yeah, that’s a great point. So we hope to, the recording we’ll post this then on the website tomorrow, we’ve linked the full document. It’s about 20 pages. This Search Institute document that has more information on that, we’ll link that full document to that.

And, we’ll email that out in the next couple days so you can have access to it. And, in general on our website, if you go to the mentoring, mentor skills community, you’re gonna find this webinar and other webinars, they’re available and other resources specifically for mentors. There’s a mentor skills community and there’s a discipleship community.

Similar resources, but both available to help you as you consider your relationships that God has given to you. So thanks again. Thanks for joining us. We hope you have a great night, and we look forward to talking to you all again.