Nurturing Joy In Marriage

Be Purposeful   Phil. 3:14

  • Highly happy couples tend to put God at the center of their marriage. They focus on Him, not their spouse, for fulfillment and happiness.
  • Highly happy couples practice meaningful touches throughout the day, boosting relational and individual health.
  • Highly happy couples find that when they can’t resolve conflict before bedtime, they choose to sleep on it. If anger remains in the morning, they don’t let it go unresolved; they deal with it.
  • Highly happy couples generously focus on what their mate is giving to them. The spouse, in turn, deliberately tries to give back.

Be Present   Col. 3:23

  • Highly happy couples choose gratefulness for how their spouse realistically meets their needs instead of longing for something which is difficult or impossible for their spouse to meet.
  • Highly happy couples aren’t just spending time together because they are happy; a big part of the reason they’re so happy is that they are spending time together!
  • Highly happy couples treat one another with intentional kindness; they joke, and they challenge, but they try to never do it in ways their mate would perceive as disrespectful or hurtful.
  • Highly happy couples fully invest emotionally in their marriage by risking vulnerability; this leads to dramatically increased security and happiness in the relationship.

Be Positive   Phil. 4:6-8

  • When highly happy couples experience hurt, they extend grace and assume their mate’s intentions were pure and have a reasonable explanation.
  •  Highly happy couples quickly stop a negative train of thought or action by replacing unhappy or angry thoughts or actions with positive ones to combat negativity.
  • When highly happy couples inevitably experience hurt feelings and conflict, they eventually reconnect by mutually sharing a private signal that says, “We’re okay.”
  • Highly happy couples give their spouse most of the credit for their relationship success – and they live in regular, conscious gratitude as a result.

Adapted from Feldhahn, 2013, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages.

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For Further Information:

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference
Author: Shaunti Feldhahn
This 256-page book reveals how being intentional about small, practical helps within your marriage can lead to a vibrant relationship. This book is recommended for those seeking to enrich their relationship.