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Nurturing Joy In Marriage

Be Purposeful   Phil. 3:14

  • Highly happy couples tend to put God at the center of their marriage. They focus on Him, not their spouse, for fulfillment and happiness.
  • Highly happy couples practice meaningful touches throughout the day, boosting relational and individual health.
  • Highly happy couples find that when they can’t resolve conflict before bedtime, they choose to sleep on it. If anger remains in the morning, they don’t let it go unresolved; they deal with it.
  • Highly happy couples generously focus on what their mate is giving to them. The spouse, in turn, deliberately tries to give back.

Be Present   Col. 3:23

  • Highly happy couples choose gratefulness for how their spouse realistically meets their needs instead of longing for something which is difficult or impossible for their spouse to meet.
  • Highly happy couples aren’t just spending time together because they are happy; a big part of the reason they’re so happy is that they are spending time together!
  • Highly happy couples treat one another with intentional kindness; they joke and they challenge, but they try to never do it in ways their mate would perceive as disrespectful or hurtful.
  • Highly happy couples fully invest emotionally in their marriage by risking vulnerability; this leads to dramatically increased security and happiness in the relationship.

Be Positive   Phil. 4:6-8

  • When highly happy couples experience hurt, they extend grace and assume their mate’s intentions were pure and have a reasonable explanation.
  •  Highly happy couples quickly stop a negative train of thought or action by replacing unhappy or angry thoughts or actions with positive ones to combat negativity.
  • When highly happy couples inevitably experience hurt feelings and conflict, they eventually reconnect by mutually sharing a private signal that says “We’re okay.”
  • Highly happy couples give their spouse most of the credit for their relationship success – and they live in regular, conscious gratitude as a result.

Adapted from Feldhahn, 2013, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages.

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For Further Information:

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference
Author: Shaunti Feldhahn
This 256-page book reveals how being intentional about small, practical helps within your marriage can lead to a vibrant relationship. This book is recommended for those seeking to enrich their relationship.

How to Appreciate an Imperfect Spouse
This article, written by Gary Thomas, provides some helpful information about how realistic expectations can lead to contentment within marriage. In addition, he shares Scripture for meditation and things to consider in moving toward an appreciation and deeper affection for your spouse.