The Ten Laws Of Boundaries

Healthy emotional and relational boundaries are key to having successful relationships and dealing with life well. The following Ten Laws of Boundaries provide principles for learning and applying healthy boundaries.

  1. The Law of Sowing and Reaping
    – Our actions have consequences.
  2. The Law of Responsibility
    – We are responsible to each other, but not for each other.
  3. The Law of Power
    – We have power over some things; we don’t have power over others (including changing people).
  4. The Law of Respect
    – If we wish for others to respect our boundaries, we need to respect theirs.
  5. The Law of Motivation
    – We must be free to say no before we can whole-heartedly say yes.
  6. The Law of Evaluation
    -We need to evaluate the pain our boundaries cause others.
  7. The Law of Proactivity
    – We take action to solve problems based on our values, wants, and needs.
  8. The Law of Envy
    – We will never get what we want if we focus outside our boundaries onto what others have.
  9. The Law of Activity
    – We need to take the initiative in setting limits rather than be passive.
  10. The Law of Exposure
    – We need to communicate our boundaries to each other

Adapted from Boundaries by Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

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For Further Information:
This website contains articles, videos, and resources on the topic of boundaries.

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life
Authors: Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
This 304-page book is about developing emotional and relational boundaries. It focuses on helping you take responsibility for your own actions and not let others run over your boundaries by using guilt, anger, or manipulation.


Boundaries in Marriage
Author: Dr. Henry Cloud
This 253-page book addresses how spouses can build a healthy relationship. This book is especially helpful for individuals who have a spouse who isn’t interested in working on the relationship.


Boundaries with
Author: Dr. Henry Cloud
This 223-page book helps parents learn to set healthy limits with children. The goal is to help children learn to take responsibility for their actions, to be respectful of others, and to develop Christ-like character traits.